Tales For The Living

Chinese media tempted by fantasy of women-only Swedish town

2009-10-08T21:52:00.003+02:00

This all is a clip from a swedish news site. Though how could anyone believe that something like this would really exist?

A mythical Swedish town where men are barred from entering and women turn to homosexuality has piqued the interest of several Chinese media outlets.
The town, supposedly founded in 1820 in the northern Swedish woods by a wealthy widow, boasts 25,000 residents and a medieval castle, according to the Chinese news agency Xinhua.
A pair of blonde female sentries stand guard at the unnamed town, referred to in reports as "Shakebao" or “Chako Paul City”, and men wishing to enter risk being “beaten half to death” by police.
In addition, many of the town’s female residents turn to homosexuality “because they could not suppress their sexual needs”, the Chinese news service Harbin News reports. The story also formed the basis of a Shanghai Media Group television report.
But Claes Bertilson, a spokesperson for Sweden’s Association of Local Authorities and Regions (SALAR), is doubtful about the claims made by the Chinese media about Sweden’s supposed “women-only” town.
“I’ve never heard anything about it,” he told The Local.
“At 25,000 residents, the town would be one of the largest in northern Sweden, and I find it hard to believe that you could keep something like that a secret for more than 150 years.”
Bertilson was also at a loss as to where the fictitious account could have originated.
“I have no idea where something like this could have come from,” he said.
Accuracy aside, the Chinese press reports provide a plethora of titillating details about life in the mythical Swedish town.
Most of the town’s all-female population is employed in the forestry industry, with many sporting a “thick waist belt full of woodworking equipment”, according to Xinhua.
And women who decide to leave the town to fulfill their carnal desires are only allowed to re-enter Chako Paul City if they agree to bathe and undertake several other measures designed to ensure that their out-of-town trysts don’t negatively affect the mental state of other women in the town.
Perhaps not surprisingly, Xinhua adds that “Chako Paul's tourism industry is increasingly prosperous”.
“Hotels and restaurants are everywhere, to receive women from around the world,” the agency reports.
Although Per Wilhelmsson of the tourist office in Umeå in northern Sweden said he had never heard of Chako Paul City, he did confirm that tourism in the area is bustling.
“Our tourism industry is doing quite well, among the best in northern Sweden,” he said.
He was fairly certain no “women-only” city existed in northern Sweden, adding that the story reminded him of a stunt carried out in the 1980s by Pajala, a northern Swedish town suffering from a different problem.
“They arranged for bus loads of women to come up to this town because there weren't enough of them,” he explained.
When asked what else might be drawing tourists to northern Sweden besides the chance to visit an isolated town filled with sexually frustrated females, Wilhelmsson had a theory of his own.
“It’s hard to say for sure, but I think part of it might be increased interest following our designation as Europe’s Cultural Capital for 2014,” he said.

Taken from:
http://www.thelocal.se/22476/20091005/

Other sites:
http://www.news.com.au/travel/story/0,28318,26182164-5014090,00.html
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2672706/Swedish-Lesbian-City-story-crashes-Chinese-internet.html
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/breaking-news/sex-mad-men-search-for-lesbian-chako-paul-city/story-e6freuyi-1225784277098

And for those who knows chinese:
http://big5.xinhuanet.com/gate/big5/jx.xinhuanet.com/travel/2009-08/06/content_17322231.htm

Creature factory

2009-09-10T17:39:00.002+02:00

Wiiii! It came! I thought that the payment didnt get through. Now when i got home from work this morning i found a little box for me. This is partly what i got. :D

King Curtis

2009-09-07T22:58:00.001+02:00

Who doesnt love this lil kid? :P

Spetacular

2009-08-20T20:40:00.002+02:00

There is no words for this.

Its time to stop.

2009-08-18T22:58:00.003+02:00

Its time for me to confess something. One major thing that i have disliked about my behaviour the last year/years. Its something that is rare to see me doing due to the fact of how horrible i feel afterwards about it. And i hope the majority of you all will accept my decision and stop asking questions about why.

Its so that i have decided to stop drinking. Sadly there is a fact that i have lied to some people i have cared and loved. I did drink at some occasions. And at those few occasions i just wanted to disconnect from the world i was living. But after everytime i have done it I'm left with a ton of guilt. A guilt of knowing that i have hurt myself and some of those around me. Sometimes i have also done it to just get accepted by some people but i guess their view of me wouldn't had differed if i had drank any or not. But there is a even greater weight on the aftermath when i have drank. The aftermath I'm talking about isn't the wasted state i get the day after but how i feel about the weeks afterwards. There is a fact that a part of my family have had different kind of problems with drugs and alcohol over the years. But also i have seen friends getting injured from the effects of the alcohol. And its not that I'm afraid of what the alcohol might do to me, its rather what i can do with it and whom i become when its used. Most of the times that i have been drinking have been with connection to depression. Depression that have come with problems with my life. Times when i have felt locked up or when i have been struggling with my past/family.

As a young kid i did make a promise to myself that i have been partly following. And its that i shall make my life right. And not follow a certain family members footprints.
The person was a great person to me even though the persons life ended with anger, sadness, alcohol and drugs. This gave me a view of how close bad things were to me in reality. Sadly i partly took in what partly brought the person down. And that was the alcohol. But now after quite a long time i understand what i have been doing and have decided fully to not drink again.

So if you ever want to buy me a drink some time then get me a alcohol free beer cause i wont accept much else.I really hope you all understand my decision. And its not like i have been ever an alcoholic but there is a fact that i don't like myself drinking it. Your welcome to drink in my presence cause its your choice and not mine and i wont judge you for it. But please don't try to make me drink some.

I had something else on my mind also but forgot. I guess i'll take that another time. Till then. C you and good luck.

My hero.

2009-08-16T23:30:00.004+02:00

A little tired but cant sleep. Need to get my head off things.

There is a few times in a mans life where he really falls in love. Sometimes its a girl he falls for. Maybe his children or maybe his pet. Even have heard of people falling for things like a guitar and things like it.
Though for this guy he succeeded to fall in love with something else. Though as i am a techsavy person its maybe a little normal. We with tech on our minds are quite weird in our own ways or atleast some of us are. Though my current love is the phone you can see to your right. The HTC Hero.

Its one of the new smartphones. And for those who doesnt know what a smartphone is there will be a description further down. Though whats makes the phone so special? I guess your thinking its another iphone clone. Actually for a guy like me its much more than another iphone clone as it has the Android Operating system integrated to itself. Yes a system made by Google and that is free to use for anyone. And what's even more great is that its very customisable as the system is open for public. Its even easy to create your own apps and such on your computer for it. Now time for vids of it. Yay! :D

** A smartphone is a mobile phone offering advanced capabilities, often with PC-like functionality (PC-mobile handset convergence). There is no industry standard definition of a smartphone For some, a smartphone is a phone that runs complete operating system software providing a standardized interface and platform for application developers. For others, a smartphone is simply a phone with advanced features like e-mail, Internet and e-book reader capabilities, and/or a built-in full keyboard or external USB keyboard and VGA connector. In other words, it is a miniature computer that has phone capability.
//Taken from Wikipedia

2009-08-01T15:40:00.002+02:00

Dont listen to all they say on tv.

The Truth About Amsterdam

2009-07-26T00:45:00.006+02:00

Waiting for the next burn notice to get done while sitting in my room alone. These days and many other days i have been feeling down and pretty shitty in general. Stomach problems, legs hurting, dizziness and loneliness. All have been "normal" this week really and due to that i feel horrible. I hate these normal days of mine. Sleep, got to work, get home, eat, talk a little and then go back to sleep. And in all honestly it sucks big time for me not having none to talk to face to face with or just being able to hug someone in person that you care about. Heck i think partly i feel like this is cause i live at the moment far from any of my friends whom i never see or hardly hear anything about. In this whole i'm living at now i know like none or actually those whom i have learned to know here i just try to keep away from. Sometimes i just wonder how in the world why i was put here in the first place. People said when i younger that i would be the new Bill gates one day due to knowledge in computers in such a young age.

Though how did i turn out? At the time i have a temporarily employment at a computer workshop that doesn't suck that bad. And i sit at home most of my days either writing or trying to make my first game. I am never really out. I wish i did though but where i am at now there is nothing else to do beside of staying in doing my own thing. Heck i just wish i could take my ass and maybe move away from this place to a much bigger city where i could just find more people like myself or just some people to connect with. And worst is in a way is that those i feel most connected to at the moment arent even swedish talking.

At many times i feel that i maybe dont really have a spot here where i have grown up. Its like im growing or drifting away from where i once belonged. The very place i once called home is a place where i feel like a stranger actually. I visit my home town last week for 2 days. Haven't been there for maybe 2 years and i felt like i didn't belong there any more. And heck i have been living there for 18 years. From the very day i was born i lived in that small village and i lived there till i was forced to move due to studies and that my mother was moving to a village/town where i couldn't travel from to get to the university. Now 2 years later i returned and it didnt feel like home any more. The very place i thought i could feel that i always belonged to, but it wasnt there.

My birthtown was no more. And it partly crushed my heart. And now at this time i dont really feel at home. Not where my mother live. Nor back where i studied and not in my birthtown. So where do i belong? Will i feel like home somewhere or will i maybe stay somewhere without having that clear feeling of security and comfort? A place where i can return to at any time? Maybe its just a part of growing older? Or its the fact that my body wants to run away to a far away country. Maybe its just that i really need to do. Run away and start anew. Start out fresh with friends that wants to see me often and doesnt live a monthly saving away. A place i can maybe feel that i am someone for a someone or some people.

Heck i should stop talk gibberish before i do something impulsive.

Jacko the wacko

2009-07-14T21:25:00.003+02:00

Everyone have seen the grand central freezing right? If not its a famous clip on youtube. Wanna see it? Well here the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMj3PJDxuo

But now its not about them but instead its about the very famous man who became a legend even while he was living. For those who missed the big good/sad news about his passing well now you know. Either way some people here in sweden thought of giving him a tribute. This is what they made. Gonna show two vids where one is on Sergel's Torg in stockholm and on Stureplan. The second vid is also on Sergel's torg but in a diffrent angle and it have a clip of when they are at the Grand central in stockholm. Enjoy

2009-07-12T00:54:00.001+02:00

For all the baby lovers out there.

Soft landing

2009-05-23T22:15:00.003+02:00

Not since the 18th of April have i posted. And that wasn't a real post either. I guess its time to update this blog a little. Well its not like i will change the layout or anything. But i will try to kick in some life into it hopefully. At the moment i'm sitting at a friends house and just have eaten dinner. And i get annoyed at Thomas Di Leva showing up on spotify all the time. Well not much that can be done about that. For those wondering why i am at a friends place writing this is cause the coming week is graduation week and exams are coming up the days before it. And for those who haven't been updated i now live with my mother. That means i have no apartment of my own for awhile. Well we'll see how long that will be. So i'm forced to live with my friend Jakob till Friday.

Watched Angels and Demons with Tom Hanks yesterday. Quite a good movie. Would give it 4 out of 5. Quite annoying that they have Americanized it. But then again i loved that Ewan McGregor and Stellan Skarsgård was in it. Actually didn't know they were in it until like a half an hour before the show started. And i warmly recommend the movie for anyone.

As some already know i have moved back with my mother and started my internships at Infocare that is the Nordics biggest home electronics repair workshop. That place have really put a lot on my shoulders. I'm running around with two titles. As an Network and Notebook technician. And i promise you its not the nicest work especially cause i do it for free.

More comes later. A little too tired to write at the moment.
Sleep well everyone and everyone else. ;)

2009-04-18T21:35:00.002+02:00

One song thathave gone through my playlist alot lately is the song Shekina by Blindside. The song is in both swedish and in english and all the swedish parts in the song are translated during the song. So for those who really want to hear a good song then listen to it. Here comes the lyrics.

Vattnet svart
Som månen full
Varm nattbris viskar

Water black
As the moon is full
Warm nightbreeze whispers
I'm naked and new

I know You're always throwing kisses from the sky
Tonight I caught one
Sixteen years old
I dare to swim further out
I know You're always throwing kisses from the sky
Tonight I caught one

Som om man kunde
Vidröra lycka
Jag virar den runt mig
Som en filt

Like joy was something you could touch
I wrap it around me
Like a blanket
It's just You, me and moon

I know You're always throwing kisses from the sky
Tonight I caught one
Sixteen years old
I dare to swim further out
I know You're always throwing kisses from the sky
Tonight I caught one

2009-04-18T14:28:00.003+02:00

Just a small link to support my small brute. Everyone is welcome to click it. ^^

Link

Aprils fools day

2009-04-02T10:11:00.001+02:00

Foer those who didnt see through my latest post it was tagged with Bullshit. And that means its a joke.

Happy april's fools day!

The day my world stood still

2009-04-01T15:41:00.004+02:00

This day today have been one of the weirdest ones I ever have experienced. Today I received a phone call from a old friend that I haven't met for months. She moved to Stockholm to study at the Royal engineering school. Last time i met her was at a party a 5 months back. Don't remember so much on what happened later on the night of the party but i know we woke up spooning eachother in my friends couch. After finding ourselfs in that couch half naked we thought nothing could had happened. Its not like i have been very intressted in her or anything over the years. On with the call. She called about that she have gotten pregnant but at the moment she didnt know fully who was the father. And she told me i could be the possible father. But it wasnt certain at this time. As of there could be one other person also that could be the father. And its her current boyfriend that she met shortly after moving there. Well either way she asked me to come visit later when the child is born so we could make genetic test on us to ensure who the father is. Hopefully its not mine or rather i wish in a way its not mine cause that would just turn my whole world upside down and hers. Well more reports about it will come later pray for me everyone.

2009-03-29T23:55:00.001+02:00

Just a small image for guys wondering what the difference is between all those web browsers. ^^

asda

2009-03-11T21:35:00.006+01:00

Long time no see. It was like more than 2 weeks ago since last time i wrote on my blogg or something. For those who is wondering what have been up and down i tell you i'll have 3 exam comming up in a few days. One on friday then the monday after then friday again. So i sit now in a marsh of study. Though i promise that after this things will start to live again on this blogg. Cause after this exam week i will not have another exam for years. Thats right i graduate. And that means i have already started to apply for works and such. Hopefully i'll get something soon. Otherwise i'm in the shit really. Cause at the moment none wants a network technician at the moment.

Thats all for the moment. Just a short update to ensure people that i'm still alive. Plus here comes a vid.

Sinister dreams

2009-02-24T15:53:00.004+01:00

Small confession comming from me now. Last months have been utterly horrible for me the last months or actually soon maybe a year. My head is a total mess. I am overly thinking and paranoid most of the time. I get headaches like every hour though i have gotten so used to it now so i dont even take headache pills for it. Those who have been social to me knows that i have a problem with sleeping. Always oversleeps or atleast almost every time. And when i have slept i usually just feel that i havent slept enough. This is due to that almost every night i have nightmares. And it really have gotten so far that i can sleep with nightmares each and every night without needing to wake up cause i know that it isnt real. But still it makes my body very tired. Some of you have heard about the dreams i have had and some i have written here. And i tell you all that those i have told you all are the minor ones. And lately they have become more and more intensive. But its not like the same dream over and over. Each one is diffrent. I have hardly any idea why i have them. But something tells me that its due to stress. Maybe it is. Though dont want to see a psychologist due to this. Cost way too much money to go and see one. But if i am right well then i have a plan already underway. Hopefully it'll be enough to cure it in a minor way. For those who wonder what i am thinking about i tell you its not sex, even though it famously known for being good if you are stressed and needs to get away from life. But instead i'm gonna go to a local massager that i have been recommended that seem to be quite good. Hopefully a couple of massages will help to get rid of all these dreams and headaches. Though last time i expreinced a massage i got very sore for like 2 days and so was the person with me. But i guess thats due to we not being used to it.

Happy week everyone. All of yours will probably be better than mine.

Crap head

2009-02-22T12:14:00.003+01:00

Havent been many posts lately i know. Dunno what it is. Its like i'm loosing that side of me to write at this moment. Not just about the blog but the story writing me. And beside that it feels like i'm loosing something else of me. I have started to feel more lonely and less intressted into stuff i was intressted into before. All i seem to do all days now is just to make the days pass by for something. I mean what in the world is wrong with me? Why do i feel so lonely even though i have people around me? Why am i going back to my old habits? Something isnt right and i have no idea what or why. I have like the biggest of speech in my head but somehow i cant even write it down. My hand just wanna run away do something else these days. Not really wanting to write about whats going on. It always just stops for me. Giving me like small sentances that makes no sense. Argh i dont like this. All this thinking and no way to tell whats going on. Each time i try to speak out i just always stop in the beginning and somehow cant continue on. Honestly whats going on? :(

Dreams

2009-02-17T10:22:00.002+01:00

Wakey wakey! Clock is like 10 and i'm up. Up from horrible dreams again. Dreams of a war and traveling. In this dream i somehow was able to be in Sweden, Germany and Japan over a day. I crashlanded in Germany with an air plane, i traveled with train in Japan and once again its war back in Sweden. Though this time i found out whom are holding the war. Its somehwo France and Germany. Why i have no idea. Though me and my family including my somehow alive father and my parents have somehow thrown away the battle axe. And in the dream somehow there is this little girl i have seen and protected so many times. But this time i recognized her face clearly. It was in a way my very first girlfriend whom i last met like 12 years ago. Why in the world am i dreaming about her? :S

HAd something else on my head awhile sgo but it slipped so have fun. ;)

Bad post!

2009-02-14T21:44:00.006+01:00

Sorry no special Valentines post yesterday. Cant say i celebrated it. Never had a partner during valentines day. Either way today my laptop crashed so i had to reinstall it. Luckily as i am a good computer guy i made a backup of everything and now have a clean computer. Hopefully it'll last longer this time. Band practise gets cancelled. Me being in school makes things hard to have a band. Wish it was just 8 to 15 like it was back in Upper secondary. But Uni. My god, class can end at 20:45 sometimes. No time for anything else.

The stalkers i think have gotten a new person to stalk it seems. Don't know if they have read my blogg or something but they seem to keep a little more distance this time. Maybe they are just hunting some random people. Well i dont know. Hardly care either way.

To end this i report that i think i'm getting a minor cold and i think i'll give you all a rather small taste of something i have been working on just to fill out space.

The smell of burning wood was around around him. With it was a smell of something else. Something awful. He didn't know what it was. The smell got stronger and his eyes started to see something in front of him. There was liquid dropping onto his stomach. It neither warm nor cold. He felt as the liquid crawled down his stomach. As his vision started to come back the sight of red was the major color he saw in front of him. He heard something like heavy breathing but it wasn't like a normal human. It was more like a beast's. The dripping was now more of a pouring. He raised his head an inch just so he could see his stomach. It was red.

Sinister glory...

2009-02-09T00:48:00.003+01:00

Well now everyone, I have applied for for schools in UK. And due to rules in UK ou can only apply for 5 courses but i have only applied for 4. And for those who are wondering what i applied for its

Game development with Mathematics (Joint hours) - Kingston
Game development - Kingston
Mathematics And Computer Science - University of Bristol
Game development (Story Development) - University of East London

I know that the deadline was 15th of January. And honestly i found out today about it. So i missed the deadline. Well hopefully i'll have as much luck as when i got into JTH (Thank you who told me that they used same system as here in sweden).

Besides that i saw Rawride the other day and i promise you all they are great. They played on a charity for Médecins Sans Frontières (Or more known as Doctors Without Borders). Well there was a few other bands playing also like Stormhold, Solitude and Screw You. Yes there is a band called that in the area. After the show we went back to Faust place and played some games and had fun. Got a little crazy after awhile but it was fun.

And to end this. Dont watch the unrated version of Sex Drive. I thought it contained just a little more nudity than the rated version. But i warn you all its a freaking porn movie.

Have a great day.

Morning glory

2009-02-04T08:46:00.002+01:00

Morning everyone, before starting to write anything i just wanna say sorry to all the people that had to go through my bad mood yesterday. Though here comes a small announcement. My blogg will change theme in a short while. So hopefully it will be added withouth much trouble. Longer post later for you all. ^^

2009-02-01T00:57:00.002+01:00

Things are so wrong with me at the moment. Its probably cause I'm tired and all, but i am worrying and my emotions are going nuts at this particular moment. Those of you all who know me the best knows that i have been trying to change and make a new life for myself. That is actually something i always wanted since i was a kid. Now when things have starting rolling on that way of change something in me really tells me to stop and go back. I still feel that i want my life to change but something in me tells me that life still belongs to the very place i have been raised at. All this struggling with creating the new me and soon maybe a possible spot in London. And what happens? My freaking whole body tells me not to do it. Why not just tell me that i should return later after maybe spending some time at a other place? Why? This feeling have been here most of the day. Its pretty annoying really. What makes it worse is when i see something i can connect with my old life. Like this morning i was on a friends Picture Diary and checked out her new pics. The thing was that she had uploaded pics of her and a friend of hers and mine also. A friend i honestly have had feelings for before for a long time. Even though it have been flickering over the years and was vanished now for a few. But when i saw the pic and something told me that if i go i'll lose most people as my friends. Its very weird. Is it just second thoughts? Or was there a plan for me in the beginning? I am quite confused at this moment.

Be blessed as a friend of mine usually tell me.

Groupies?

2009-01-31T15:06:00.002+01:00

This post is gonna be a little continuation of the last post. And its about the stalker. Well whis post isnt gonna be about her. Instead something peticular happened me the days after i wrote the post. Seems its not just her but i noticed now that there is two more asians. Though these ones had a little more courage. And now i'm gonna tell how i noticed. The other day i went home with my friend Jacob. We jumped on the buss down to Råslätt as we always do but at the time we jumped on the buss was totally filled. After marking the card we went down to the middle of the buss cause there was quite lacking of seats. On our way down to the middle of the buss there was these two asian girls standing up havent seen them before and they had already noticed me somehow. And all of the sudden both of them give me that stereotypical shy japanese school girl hi. I looked at them and said hi back. Jacob who was with me they didnt even say anything to. After that me and jacob stood a little further down. Then after one stop they came down and almost stood beside me. Then i started to wonder what in the world was going on. Every time i looked at them they looked away. And it kept going on like that for like 20 mins and we got down to råslätt. Though me and jacob jumped off a little early though cause we went to the grocery store. When we got to the grocery store we saw the the girls come up. and they also went into the store. And there it really felt like they were trailing me. I and Jacob met Arvid at store also. We stopped at a place started talking. The girls then went to a place not far away and started talking for them self. And yes i could hear them. I dont know if i'm paranoid but something is wrong with this all. Is there going around some rumor about me or something? Its not some game someone is playing on me is it? Well if it is, its not funny. Thats all for now. Have fun! ^^

Wait, Who?

2009-01-29T01:13:00.002+01:00

Long time no see. No real post for awhile, even getting some complains. Didn't know i was that fun to read about. Even though that people seem to have found interest in reading my blog I have found out that someone have found an interest in me. I dont know if the person is trying to mock me or is just plainly shy. But honestly, stalking me cant be that fun can it? I'm not that intressting really. I even hardly have a life at this moment nor do i have looks for that matter, specially now when i need a shave also. Though for those who wonder who this person is i will now tell you some info on this perticular girl and what have been happening the last week. Well firstly i can say the girl is asian (Hmm somehow me cant get enough of the asians). She lives 3 floors down. I have no idea what her name is and she started stalking me like last week. Or atleast thats when i started to notice her. Dont think i have seen her before so i guess she is one of the new exchange students. And i honestly say she isnt very discrete with it either. Well atleast she wasnt today. It was quite obvious today when i missed the buss i saw her on the buss as it went past me and as it went up onto the next checkpoint or whatever its called. After like 5 mins she stood beside me in the crowd with the other people who was taking the next buss. And by the way i dont think all asians look the same. None does really. well either way. After riding the buss and jumping off at the same place i went the other way to get some lunch. Guess who follows after me. She followed me to the resturant she even ordered the same thing. Then she followed me with distance back to the school. Just so everyone knows, i do have a tendancy to look behind my back quite alot when i somehow knows that someone is walking behind me or have followed me for awhile. She followed me all the way to the school and into but took a diffrent turn at a specific place so atleast from what i believe she wouldnt be as noticeable cause of that she would walk with me besidely till and see me when the corridors emerged. And as i was a little lazy that morning i even took the elevator. As good thing was she didnt follow me into the elevator. The funny thing is that i know that she doesnt belong to the engineering school. Even so she followed me. If she had been a little smarter she would had just been a little smarter and not making me paranoid she should had just walked into the Business school instead. Then maybe i wouldnt had written about her. Well hopefully she'll either start talking with me or stop stalking cause at this moment i dont know if i should consider her scary or just plainly weird. And those who wants more info about how i noticed her have to ask me otherwise this post will be longer than the dawn.

Well time to jump over to the next topic. Seems someone was able to find out info who the next guy who will live here. That person will take over Nathaniels room. And as it seems the one replacing the Aussie/Malaysian/Chinese is a Thaiboy. And its not any guy as it seems. Actually its not entirely sure if the guy is a guy. Due to the fact he/it acts like a girl most of the time. And how i know that without even meeting him is cause the guy is actually someone who have actually been living in a diffrent part of the town for over a half year and is taking his diploma here. That means he/it will be staying with Hamza for atleast 1½ years and as it looks like Hamza doesnt like this guy. But hopefully he'll survive after i leave him here after finishing my diploma. Cause after i leave Vivien will also leave. That means Hamza is gonna be horrified when we move out cause if he's unlucky he'll get his worst nightmare and that is the african people. Well i have nothing really against them but Hamza seems to really have a problem if its gonna be an african.

Well now i'm gonna sleep. Tomorrow i have school again. And hopefully i'll survive all the practise. I hope this post wasnt too long though. And your welcome to leave a comment in my chatbox. Good night everyone and Sweet dreams. I know I will have ones. ;)

2009-01-24T15:07:00.000+01:00

Angels & Airwaves - The adventure

I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are open up with pure sunlight
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that is dead shall be re-grown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign
You will be fine

Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin

Any type of love it will be showed
Like every single tree reach for the sky
If you're gonna fall
I'll let you know
That I will pick you up
Like you for I
I felt this thing
I can't replace
When everyone was working for this goal
Where all the children left without a trace
Only to come back as pure as gold
To recite this all

Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin

I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me

Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
Life's waiting to begin (do this with me)
Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
Life's waiting to begin
Life's waiting to begin

Sticky as glue?

2009-01-17T17:46:00.004+01:00

Days passing by. And hardly any posts from me. I guess I'm slacking off a little here. Too much World of Warcraft lately probably. Darn that game, it really kills you from the outside. Though i have finally gotten a good character. Either way today I'm gonna take up a topic that when i was little had hardly any existence. But lately is something i see more and more often. The Euro-Asian families. When i was little and a growing child i lived in a town where most people somehow breeded with people similar to each other and with that i mean Swedish with Swedish, Vietnamese with Vietnamese, Bosnian with Bosnian and so on. But lately i have seen alot of couples who are Swedish+Thai. I mean a couple of years ago that was a pretty darn rare sight. Now i see it almost everyday. And don't go up north. Each and every guy there is together with an Asian there. Was so in shock when i was in Sundsvall to shop and all i saw was Swedish men with Asian wife's and kids. Started to wonder if it was some kind of trend or something up there. Though then again I'm as guilty as them. I was together with a Asian girl. And btw i am not against it really. Just that it feels weird for me seeing other euro-asian couples.
Though finally got my laptop to work again after the charger broke over a month ago. Finally i can sit in Fedora again. Though it was funny the day i got the charger. after getting the charger i went to school to study with some friends. While working and studying i was also updating my computer. And i tell you with Linux there is always new updates each month and it updates software that isn't just for the operating system but also for everything else also so you never need to worry about having old software. well either way. After being done with 200 updates or so, it was time for restarting the computer. And so i did. I shouldn't had, it was a mistake. It seems sometime during the updates it updated GRUB in some way so. And GRUB handles something that is called the Master Boot Record that handles what should be booted and how it should be done. Well somehow it now said there weren't any harddrive to boot from. Though that doesn't make really sense cause for GRUB to even start it needs a harddrive. Well later that night i fixed it with my "pro" Linux skills (Google). But now everything works. And now even Spotify works, that before said i didn't have a working sound card.
And now something i have hold in for quite awhile. Even though it have been around 4 months since it ended, the feelings is still there. And now the other day we finally had a real talk for the first time in a long time. And honestly it was really relieving that we finally talked. Though it started off bad, things finally was took up between the two of us. And honestly during that time i felt glad that she opened up and told me straight to me what was going on. Something i havent dared to do since things splitted up. And honestly all feelings are still there, just that they are hidden away to ensure no one gets hurt. Though still i have times when i am emotionally down. Some people have really have seen the worst sides of me during that time. Sides i didnt want anyone to see or experience. Though worst thing with just holding things in that when for example hugging a relative or a friend it just feels empty and i start to remember those hugs that could really make me explode. Wish i just could experience it once more. Cause honestly i couldnt get enough of it. I just wished things wouldnt be so complicated.
I dont know if some people will react to it but this is how it is partly inside. I wish i could be more true at this at this moment. Well i hope this will be a good post for you all.

School is locked and loaded

2009-01-12T18:02:00.002+01:00

First day back from school since the christmas holiday started. Started off the day with getting late (How great arent i? :P). Well it was just a project meeting and i wasnt the last one there either. Martin was like 2½ late while i was only 30 mins. After some working and talking for many hours it wa time for SLM or in a more normal sense; Service Level Management. And i tell you this will probably be one of the rougher classes i'll read. Though actually it will be my last one before the internships starts. Hopefully i will get the internship down where my mother lives. That way it'll be easier to save my money for UK. 2 months with just rent and no need to pay for food. Paradise! ^^ Though btw i have decided on something new. If i dont get a job before i go to UK (in UK that is) i will then try to get a bartender license there and be a bartender. Hopefully that will keep me alive there. And why people may wonder. Well if you wanna know you have to ask me. ;)
This became a small post. Maybe i'm losing my edge. Well c you all soon.

Post it

2009-01-06T01:47:00.002+01:00

Late night as always. Dunno why i write during the night though but either way i do. Not talking much sense either for starters i guess. But then again i dont feel like being in a good mood either. Well many probably wondering how my trip was. I guess i could just call it fine. It was quite dull really. The same old thing. Nothing new really and me doing nothing at my grandparents place. And during new year i did some drinking. Yea i know i dont usually drink but this time i allowed myself though for the night it was fun but the day after. Shoot me. Well i didnt get wasted but i felt slow for two days. Nothing fun afterwards really. Came home on the second of january. And during the night i went and visited the emergency clinic in the middle of the night. Was there from 00.50 to 05.00 in the morning and had to walk home afterwards. Got sent there cause i had an allergic reaction to something. What, i have no idea. Though i got 300 bucks poorer. Dont feel like explaining much right now about what happened. Get so moody talking about it. But then again i guess its due to the medecation talking. Cause one of the things you can get from the medecation is temponairly mental unbalance. Risk factor is the same as less than 1 in 1000. Guess i got it either way. Though it reminds me i didnt tell some people that today (as of right now its past 00.00) i will rehearse with the band and will be gone for the day. I wished i said that already to some people but i just couldnt somehow. Well i hope that one person will survive while i'm gone. I just hope that the person dont do something that isnt that good. Well goodnight now. I hope you survived my word pooping and i am understanable. :/

Anger management

2008-12-19T14:10:00.001+01:00

Was awhile since the last post. Not much happening really. Though things will probably remain in silence for awhile after this day. Well its cause I'm going away tomorrow to see my grandparents and relatives on my mothers side. They only live 10 hours away with train. And that just what I'm going to ride. Train all the way from Jönköping to Ånge that is in the middle of the country. Though I tell you even if i say in the middle of the country it doesn't mean there are many cities or such. Just that it is half across the country. Will be going with my sister so she is coming tomorrow. Though i need to clean up my place a little. ^^
Though its not just my place that needs cleaning up here, its the kitchen also cause it looks horrible. As good as it is its not my time to clean the kitchen. ^^ Actually the place looks almost like we have had a rave party and everyone is like if they were wasted. And i tell you all we didn't do anything special yesterday. Besides there was poker tournament downstairs and a goodbye dinner for the exchange students at some other place. ^^
How this happened don't ask me cause i have no idea. ^^
Beside that i guess i have finally started to understand my roller-coaster ride as some call it. It basically is about something that people here sometimes call damp though its not really the same thing and is a misunderstanding. Though as many of the people i have grown up with i sometimes go berserk when people are irritating, annoying or being cruel against me. It all is about really about built up anger that have is filling up eachtime i feel hurt or sad. I dont know how many times i have gone berserk due to it in elementary school. Though things changed in 9th grade. That change was the martial arts. During the years i had trained it i never really got angry at anyone really. Never touched someone beside when Robert asked me to punch him in school to see how hard i can punch. Well i can say it worked for 3 years really and everyone saw me at the dojo as a really nice guy. Same was it in upper secondary school. Someone who never got really angry at anything nor even killed a fly. A plain nice guy i guess. But then a day came when my world was really turned upside down. And it was cause of my fathers death. I started to train less and do nothing more often. I closed myself again and i wasnt as outgoing as i used to be but still i have always been shy. And as many other people recently have noticed i have been going really up and down at times. I guess its all from the lack of putting anger and annoyence on something. I guess i need some martial arts training again. Though i wonder if i should go back to Karate or if i should start with something new. Though i cant start anything until i have moved i guess. Anyone who can recomend anything? :P

W00t?

2008-12-14T19:13:00.004+01:00

Sunday and today i have been a good boy. I have cleaned my room. Much cleaner now. ^^
Havent cleaned in awhile actually. I wont say how long ago it was cause then i probably get whipped by someone. Who i dont know but most probably by someone of the opposite gender. Pictures of my cleaned room will be further down.

Though about the other gender in general. Dunno what it is lately but people whom i socialize with seem to want me to hook up with other girls. Have happened twice already on 2 days. Yesterday my housemates started talking about it at the dinner table and the mentioned four people where two names doesnt sound good at all and one i have heard of but never meet even though she lives next door and the fourth one is a lesbian. The names of the two girls or should i say nicknames really is Gorilla and Chimpanse. And i say it doesnt bode well if you ask me. The girl next door i know who she is and what her name is though its told she hardly speaks. Guess its some shy girl. And as i said before the fourth girl is a lesbian. I mean come on? I dont really wanna be together with a lesbian and secondly even though i'm single i'm not really looking either at the moment. Want things to calm down before i even try with someone else. And now the second time was today. Talked with a friend of mine and we got into the talk about me being shy and all. Though she doesnt really believe it cause i was able to talk with a friend of hers without any real problem. Well i just said she was one who easily opened up to talk. Then she told me she actually was a very shy girl. Though from what i noticed she didnt really seemed like that kind. And then she said it. My friend said we might have actually clicked. And then she started to make plans. Well we'll see if that friend of mine really will do as she said. Though if she will try to make us together or something i have no idea what to do. What is it with people and trying to hook me up with other people? They try to ensure i get laid or how you say it? Though worse is probably when i meet my grandparents(mothers side) next time they'll probably ask me to see some girl they know up there. Cause last time they were asking when i would bring up their great grandkids. I mean hello i'm only newly turned 20 the youngest family i know of had their kid at the age of 23. And not to be critisising against him but for me that feels alittle too young. But thats just me i guess.

Well have a great night and enjoy pictures of my room. ^^

Lefty

2008-12-13T14:51:00.005+01:00

So now its like 3 months since i lost my thumb. It have healed quite well actually. Will show you how it looks now. I'm sorry to have kept it all secret for you all before. Dunno why i really did but i felt like i needed to do this on my own. I know this will come as a shock to many of you. But i'm still the same old Kenny you all have known. I'm just one thumb less. The rehab training have been quite easy though cause it was my left thumb so it wasnt as much hard work as if it was my right one. The rehab people was really nice. The nurse who had me was newly graduated from my school and was just a few years older. I tell you she was quite good looking. Its too bad she was taken but we'll see with my luck. Though i'll see her again tomorrow. ^^
Btw a pic of my lefty hand and my confession.

Fake BTW and a big fat lie. I know its not 1st april but i wanna put it up now. :P

Sleepy

2008-12-12T23:35:00.003+01:00

Friday today and me very very tired. Think i will go to bed after posting this. Quite early for me actually. Though i have been most of the time in school today and then when i got home i had to make dinner. And now i'm really exhausted and sleepy. Wish there were more energy in me. And it was a pretty sadening day today. Havent been able talk long with anyone really today. Espcially some people. Even though i have had two friends around me today i felt a little lonesome. Maybe its cause of lack of socializing or something else. Darn i'm too dependent on other people maybe. Feels like sometimes i cant do anything until i have had a daily dose of something. Pretty annoying really.
And now i got brain dead. Guess the bed is calling. Good night!

Thoughts and dreams

2008-12-11T03:10:00.002+01:00

Didedeluuu. Another post. I have nothing really on my mind to blog about really. Just felt to make a post. Though for you who have been thinking the whole thing about men are like purses and girls are like diamonds. I'm sorry people you are really stereotypical. Saying all that stuff doesnt mean that everyone is like that. If it were so then my my the world is lacking of unique people. And i can assure you all that i have meet quite a few unique people both bad and good ones that doesnt really fit into that bullshit. Sorry for my choice of words. And yea i know i had my finger into a little though it was mostly as a joke. Dunno really why i write about it but i guess its cause i'm tired. Well beside of that i dunno what happened to me like a few mins ago but i got like a sudden flashback of the day when i was about to leave to go to malaysia. I wonder what happened. It wasnt like i fell down on the floor or anything but it went through my head like really fast. Every conversation and everything i saw. Hmm maybe my brain wants to sleep or something.

Though the other morning i had a strange dream that was first half very dream like and second half was much more real. I remember that i somehow was in a some old egyptian style catacomb. And i entered a big room and as i got into the room i saw there was like a whole in it and qwhen i looked down into it i saw some sort of grave for several people. But not like a mass grave but instead like it was went for several people. The i was surounded by several others. Dunno who they were but they knew me. Some people went down to the graves to check out the graves. Suddenly something happened. The people who had gone done started to sink down into the ground and arms were dragging them down. All of the sudden the catacomb was filled with dead people that was trying to attack me and the others. One got to me, but i recognised the face. It was someone i knew. I started to talk to the person and it reacted and started talking back and it seems i somehow got it to ehlp me out and show it that it could live a free life. All of the sudden everything went dark. And then i saw that light were everywhere and it was comming from all kinds of directions. I looked around and i noticed that the person was with me but looked much more like a person than a dead corpse. But also i noticed that i was on Dreamhack somehow. Also i knew exactly where my seats were so i took the person to the place. On the way i talk with a old friend of mine namned Markus Kothe. His girlfriend was with him and suddenly the person grabbed Kothe's girlfriend like it was gonna attack her. I told her to stop and it wasnt something that person should do. The girl just laughed over it and so did the rest of us. We then splited ways and me and the person went to my seat. As i sat down i noticed that it was in the B building on dreamhack. Pretty weird though cause i have never sat there and havent really had plans to sit there either. The person was somehow very fond of me and was very clingy on me and i didnt really minded. Shortly after that i woke up. Weird dreams huh? Well now things stopped in my head to write about well i guess i should head to bed then.

Goodnight everyone and have great dreams or great days. ;) I sure will try to have good dreams.

Mister sleepy

2008-12-08T22:51:00.003+01:00

Was awhile since my last post. Or actually a real post. The last one was really a random post from a random burst of emotions i guess. Mysterious stuff really. I hardly know why it happen sometimes. Either way this weekend i was away to my grandmother to be on Cecilia's birthday party. Actually she turned 18 so she really wanted me and my sis to be there and i couldnt really let her down. Went down to Helsingborg with the buss this time. 3hours and 30 mins of sitting on a boring buss. Though for 2h and 20 mins i sat and talked with my sis nonstop really. She came onto the buss later due to we live in diffrent towns. Dont think the passangers really liked that we talked the whole way down. Though they didnt say anything. Other that day much didnt really happen more than i wasnt able to talk with Viv before i went. Well well it happens. Though the next day (Saturday) i woke up early but then i slept very late the night before around 3 or 4 really. Some stuff going through my head and not really feeling tired. Well shit happens as they say. Though during the morning i cleaned and was online a little before the party. Was a nice party though i was mostly playing around with the kids as usual. Hmm even on my birthdays i was playing mostly around with my small cousins. Night passed by in a swift and the day after we had to travel back me and my sis. Though we visited my aunt and my small cosuins for a few hours before going. Alma was playing around with my hair and such. Though after being there for a bit we went back to grandma and ate a little before going with the buss back. Just before we ate i got something confirmed my father had kidney stones twice. So i guess i should be put on the list of a risk factor. 25% not good.
Going back wasnt really that pleasant. First of i got a headache when we went on. Later i got a stomach ache also. So i took up my laptop and watched 'The IT Crowd' just to make me think of other stuff. Hilarious episode though during it i got an acute need to pee and it was like in an instant i had been filled. As good as we have it here in Sweden the busses have a toilet on them. Went in and what did i notice? No light. Hmm fun. Well with a few tricks i managed to use the toilet with the light that should had worked. Went back and then watched. After arriving back in Jönköping and went to the next local buss i needed to take to get back at my apartment i noticed that it had just gone and the next one wouldnt come until in 45 mins. Still stomach and head was aching so i got pretty pissed really. After some thoughts for like half a second i came to the conclusion that i could just walk home. Its just 6-7km on foot in -3C and so i did. And for those who wondred why i did it. Well i can tell you that it takles me about 30 mins to walk that distance so i would be home before the next buss came. Clock was about 9 when i was back home. After some chit chatting with the others i went into my room and sat down at the computer to check mail and such. Took a pill just so iw ould get rid of that headache. 15 mins later Viv got on. Finally someone to cheer me up from this bad evening. And so she did. Though it was surprising that she even was online that late. Well well no matter, something good came out of my day atleast so i didnt go asleep grumpy.
Gonna stop here i guess. Not anything intressting more than i updated W kayz link to his new blogg. Noticed today he had signed up as follower of my blogg. Thank you Wei. How i'm gonna follow yours i dunno though.

GOLDFINGER!!!!1!! one one!!!

2008-12-04T22:25:00.002+01:00

Just felt like doing a random post one of my favorite song

Goldfinger - I Want
Lyrics can be found under the vid

Don't want to spend my time, wishing you were here
Don't want to spend my time alone
Don't want to waste my life, dwelling on the past
Don't want to lock myself at home

'Cause I want, I need, nothing less than you
I want nothing else at all

Don't want to make excuses
Explaining it away
Just want to spend my time with you

Don't want to walk on ice
Don't want to live on edge
'Cause on the edge
I'm looking down

I want more, I want more

Don't want to spend my time
Wishing you were here
Don't want to spend my time alone

Title goes here

2008-12-02T00:27:00.003+01:00

Time flies by sometimes but not as often as i want to. Sorry Amelia for the late update but the time flew away cause i was tired yesterday. Tonight though i will be up long. Need to reinstall my computer. This time i will try Windows Vista x64. Hopefully it will be more stable than the normal version. But before i can install the new version i have to download it and thats why im writing now cause i have loads of time.
Dreamhack ended yesterday and i'm sorry to say it wasnt as good as it used to be. My friends thought it was great but i cant say the same. During the event i got myself a new hard drive though. So now i have loads of space on my computer for once. Though the only problem is that my computer is crapping me. :/
During the event something weird started to stir inside of me though. Started to feel angry over something but i dont know what it was. When i lost in a game or something just didnt go my way i got angry. Havent had such anger issues before. I even got irritated at people for nothing at all. Still only one person calmed me down. Dunno how that person did it, but it worked. Something is really wrong with me lately. And that person seems to be the only one making me relaxed and calm. Maybe it is as someone said. Maybe it is cause i want some kind of closure as a friend of mine said. But then again i have moved on without closure before why not now? The mind is truely a force to recon with. It can really mess you up good and you cant do anything to stop it. But aslo lately i have not only felt angry i have felt alone also. Even while i was on dreamhack. I had like 10'000 people that was like me and i could talk with anyone about anything. But still i felt that i was alone. It was freaking horrible. Anyone knows what is happening to me though? Any cure someone can give me?

Have more on my mind but dont really feel like writing it all at the moment. Just plainly tired and feel angry at my computer for crapping. Wish things were easier.

Activity on the blog! :O

2008-11-26T01:09:00.002+01:00

Though of doing a little blogging now when i'm sitting down and waiting for my laptop to be upgraded to the latest version of Fedora. Well i guess thats all i'm gonna say about computers otherwise it'll be pretty boring. Though before i updated the computer though i saw Clannad the movie. And yea i know its a Anime and it doesnt follow the series fully. But heck i dont care i like the movie better either way! Dunno why i really like that movie. It gives me the chills at specific times. Its both a very happy movie and sad. And yea no action. So lovely without all that action scenes where people get killed but still stand and talk. Freaking annoying. Maybe have grown some love on non action movies. Or just that i grown tired of the action ones. Either way as i said before it gives me the chills and there aint many things that gives me the chills in this world. And i tell you two things i confess of getting the chills from is specific operas and Clannad the movie. Both things are exellent in their own ways. And i say when i say opera songs i mean songs like Fredrik Kempe's Vincero, Paul Potts and Luciano Pavarotti. Awfully good singers. Though they all have sang Nessun Droma and they all have their own versions. Badly enough only Paul Potts is active. Cause Pavarotti is dead since last year and Fredrik is now days performing at rare cases from what i have gotten information about. Well hopefully i'll get the chance to hear Paul potts one day. A must to see him when i go to UK. ;)
Enough of opera might be considered gay soon. Wouldnt be too good. Well atleast i know of my sexuality.
Dreamhack is just around the corner or actually just 1 day and 6 hours away. Though me and my friends as we usually do go in a little later so we dont need to be in any lines. This year we'll be six people going. New record! Though we have been 5 before. And this time its gonna be my 5th time there geeking around like a fool. Hopefully i'll survive it without scratches from "people". Last time i got lots of hugs of random people. Why? I have no idea. Not really famous or anything. But also last time was horrible due to two reasons we only were 3 people going and someone very dear to me was undergoing a major surgery. So i was really restless the whole time and worrying my butt of more than 50% of the time. Though happily everything went fine and i accidently sent an sms to the parent and spoiled a few things that she shouldnt had heard for that time. Well that was last year. I wonder what will happen this year. One thing for sure that have to be done is that i have to buy a new mouse. My current one is really annoying me at the moment cause it goes on and off the whole time. My beloved MX510! *sob, sob* and i dont wanna upgrade to a MX518. I love my MX510. I have had it since my first dreamhack. And my god i just noticed its over 5 years old. That makes it even more sad. :'( Well one day it will die though till then keep on living my MX510.
Enough of my sad moment now. Time for some cheering up i guess.

Fun for the whole family

Well its getting late now and i need my beauty sleep. And everyone who have seen my face knows that i need beauty sleep. :P

Kidneys

2008-11-24T03:21:00.002+01:00

Another nightpost. Well this time its not about me being grumpy something like that. Instead something is wrong a little lower down on me and as you may have guessed its my kidneys that is shitting me. Or actually i believe i might have kidney stones. And i tell you if there is anything i'm afraid of, then its kidney stones. At the moment i'm laying down in my bed with my laptop on my stomach. And i tell you its the only way at the moment i'm not in pain. As soon as i raise a little something just above my urinery bladder goes haywire. Started around 10 somehow and its keeping me awake cause i'm afraid of having a kidney stone attack. For those who wonder what so special about it then i tell you it can be compared with child labor and its known to be the most painful experience a man can have physically. The dumb thing is that there is a risk that i got it from my father where there is a 25% i could have inheritaded it from him cause i remember him telling me he got one many years ago. So now i hope its not really hitiing me. I wonder what i'll do tomorrow if this continues though. Have to call my mother to confirm that it happened so i know if there is any risk of it. Already have had some problems like a slight nausea and felt like throwing up though its mostly air. Its weird though, i have had similar problems like this before but always thought of it as normal. But now i suddenly am paranoid about something that i have experienced a few times already. But then not fully like this. And i cant really go to the hospital either cause then it will probably be gone before they can check it. What should i do? :/

Night post

2008-11-23T04:00:00.002+01:00

Dunno whats really with myself sometimes. Lately or actually for quite some time i have had the urge to always have people around me and make notice of me without having myself to show myself off. If i dont get that social attention i somehow get deppressed somehow. Not sure where i got it from but i guess on being an outcast for many years have made its mark on me. Even now i feel still feel like an outcast. Though mostly now its cause i woke up at 12pm and noticed my housemates was gone. I guess they went to some party not sure though. Either way due to that i felt really depressed and left out even though it was really my fault for falling asleep early. Dumbshit me! So just to cheer me up in some way i went online on MSN and looked if someone wanted to talk with me. But nope no one was up to it. Felt angry cause no one wanted to talk with me. Why am i so dependet on people?! :(
Next try is a shameful one really and i do confess. I went on 4chan.org . For those who doesnt know what 4chan is then i'll tell you its a picture forum where you can upload any kind of photo and that includes even pornographic pictures. And i warn you dont visit the random area or that people call /b/ cause already (havent been on that site for a long time) i have seen pictures that are illegal anywhere in the world. Either way i went there to check if there was anything to make me feel a little better but there was none. Was even on /s/ and it only made me wonder why there is so many of pictures of girls naked online. And i mean just go to /s/ and you will maybe find even the girl next door or something (not that it has happened). Either way it didnt really help.
Though i guess its that i have people to talk with during the day i can keep myself sane each day. I thank you all for it. And those who have helped me through the last months i'm extra grateful towards. Dont think i wouldnt be standing without the help i got. As much as the last months have strengthen me it have also opened me for something else and i hope it will be good cause i really dont wanna bring people down in the future due to my miserableness.

Good night. I hope it was readable. ;)

2008-11-22T16:55:00.001+01:00

Hmm something is wrong with my Graphics card i shouldnt have more than 512MB. :S

Long time ago

2008-11-20T18:24:00.003+01:00

Now it was quite awhile since I made a real post. Though lately much hasn't happened due to i have been waiting for a teacher to read two reports that I have written. Well he read them and then gave me the points I have been asking for awhile. Though this all have been troubling for me cause I haven't been able to sleep due to being afraid that he'll never do it. Well now he did and now I'm really tired somehow. But enough of that.
Came across something special today after being on Youtube. I found a video of Jonny Jakobsen. Though i guess most of you people don't know who that is though his artist name was long ago Dr. Bombay, Dr. McDoo and Carlito. Some might recognise the names but either way. Checked a few good old music videos of him when I suddenly noticed something. Every music video was recorded in Malaysia. And I tell you the video doesn't say it directly but you can see it on a few details in the videos. Fun thing is that he's Swedish and I have met him so I know. So why do them all in Malaysia? Will show the videos at the end of the post and we'll see if you can find the details that sign that its in Malaysia. :P
Somehow that gives me ideas. Lately my world have been circulating around Malaysia a lot and the more times goes things drags me there more and more. A friend of mine actually said that I have my fate there or something. Though either way I'm going to UK first then we'll see where I happen to be located after that. What do you all think? Am I destined to go there again or something? Is there something that will drag me there? And what is that then? Maybe due to the financial crisis i will go there later cause the chance of getting job there will probably be higher than it will be here. Though again the chance of getting a job there is already easier. Sweden is going up to soon 10% of unemployment. A real crisis i must say. And due to that a student here cant really get a job cause there ain't any jobs or there is 10'000 other people applying for the same job. Or atleast not in this town where most companies rely on the bigger companies like Volvo, Saab, Ericsson, Nokia, Opel and many others that is at the moment throwing people out so they can earn more. And that really leads to that the smaller companies have to throw out people also cause the companies wants the smaller companies to sell their products and services for less. Well in the end the bigger ones will most probably kill themself. Then new ones can emerge. And how it looks now the asians will take over the former western empire. Or actually they are already most of the semiconductor companies and hitech companies are Asian based. :P

And here comes the vids. ;)

The 20 Worst Places To Wake Up Saturday Morning

2008-11-17T23:14:00.000+01:00

* Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.

* The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.

* Spooning some random dude.

* In a bath tub covered in blood.

* The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.

* The back seat of a stranger’s car.

* In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.

* On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.

* Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.

* Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.

* The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.

* Your parents’ kitchen floor.

* Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.

* The front lawn of the local synagogue.

* Cleveland.

* Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.

* The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.

* The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.

* The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.

* On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.

Monday is a day on the week.

2008-11-11T00:12:00.002+01:00

What a great start of the week.Morning started off with me waking up at 5. Yea thats right 05:00 in the morning. And the thing is i fell asleep about 2 o'clock. Darn damnation bad of me. Went down to mothers kitchen and ate breakfast and then packed the last stuff before going. Though my little sister (Not you amelia) was late and had to come with me and my mother. We got like 10 mins late. And i'm such a person as i have to be at a place like 10 mins before hand to feel that things are going right otherwise i get nervous about missing the train. Then me mom drove us away. And as lucky as i was when i got to the station the train just came. But there was one problem. It was on the wrong side of the tracks. Owh noo the first thought i had i'm gonna miss it. The problem is with it being on the other side of the rail is that i have to run 200meter extra. And i tell you i dont recomend that you run with luggage and havent had enough sleep. Though i was lucky they noticed i was running from the otherside so the train waited for me. I got on and now the worst parts starts. I felt really sick. The rest oif the trip back up to Jönköping i felt like puking the whole time.
Got to Jönköping and when i got off the train i sort of felt better. Went down to school and met up with Johan and Jakob. I can tell Johan was really in a good mood today he was laughing at anything and he was acting like a i child most of the day. Though so did me an jakob to certain extent. ;)
Though due to to my lack of sleep i felt quite bad the whole day. But then again i was mostly reading. Though when it was time for lunch i had to go get it for myself. Walked out and it was raining a little. Well atleast for that moment. As soon as i had walked through the school of learning and communication it started to rain even more and as i was at the pharmacy it went over and became a rainstorm. And as i ordered my meal it started to hail And the storm blew the water from the street right into the shops corner so the whole kitchen got wet. Though i was lucky and just got my food. Though when i got it i ran as fast as i could back to school so it wouldnt get worse. And i tell you i almost flew on the way back due to strong winds. :S
As i walked into the school i heard a girl saying Oh my god how wet he is. Then i noticed the whole of me was really drenched. Well not much i could do about it at that perticular moment more than walk back to Jacob and Johan. And after i left the food i went and dried my hair on the toilet.
Around 3 i went back home to my old apartment. And i napped. Owh how good that felt. Heaven on earth really. After a short nap of like 2 hours or so i went back and sat down with the computer and tried to install Crysis on it. Though that didnt succed so well. Something wrong with the computer so i couldnt install it. But then i installed it on my laptop instead and it worked without problem. Just that i then have to trnsfer over 6GB of data twice. :/
Well i guess thats were my bad luck ends. Though after some chatting with the house mates i hear about that Paul had invited a girl over tomorrow on a movie night and Hamza was like crazy about it cause he wanted it to be romantic and everything. Though it was hilarious. The two of them going crazy over just one girl comming over. My god they are like children in a candy store sometimes. Though we will see how a polish guy and a german girl works out. ;)

And thank you all who have been talking with me today you all have helped me with not thinking about wanting to puke. ^^

Ands as a end to this i show you all this weird music vid i found. Though i wonder why Peter Stormare is in it though. :/

Second post today

2008-11-09T23:42:00.005+01:00

Second post today and a late one as usuall. ;)
Finally i finished cleaning up one of the continents. And as you can see its called Nasdir. And this continent is where things will start off at. Though right now there is three continents but only this one is finished for cleaning. Will probably finish the others later. Though i will show off a little how things looked like before i photoshoped the map. ^^

OMG i'm 20 years old!

2008-11-09T19:10:00.004+01:00

Its sunday and i'm watching Singing Bee on TV3. Not often i watch tv i tell you. Was away and visted my grandmother yesterday actually. Well i went cause its a little tradition to have the birthday party with the relatives or atleast on my fathers side. This time was a little diffrent. My biological grandfather was there. It was like 2 years since i last saw him. And it was when we put my father to the sea outside of Helsingborg. When i saw him i so saw my fathers face in his stead. Directly i got like a stone in my throat. Horrible but played on looking "cool". Alot of mischef with my small cousins and a few hours alter we went back. The day wasnt that great really. Though i guess the day wasnt so good due to two reasons. First of i was quite worried about a person. I knew i shouldnt have been as worried as i was. All cause i didnt fully know what was going on the other side of the world. Feels like i'm getting dependent on always knowing what's going in other peoples life. But today i atleast heard why things ended up as it did. And i can say i really felt relief. Worst thing was that i dreamt about that same person and it was almost like a nightmare. I guess most people would had seen it as a nightmare but i can say i didnt really got scared by it. Maybe it was a sign that i care about the person more than i realise.
Second reason is cause i saw a few pictures of Ashikin in 3 diffrent dresses. I have no idea but when i saw her in those dresses i felt really bad. Even though i have nothing to do with her anymore. Probably i'm still in one of the phases of breakup i guess. Though its weird. I have found someone that makes me feel good again. And i mean really good, but as soon as i see a new picture of Ashikin i suddenly feel sad till i am able to talk with the other one. I am a really messed up person aint i? Hopefully i will calm down. Or maybe that is how i am gonna live my life as a rollercoaster. Though how do i become a more calm person?

And here comes a vid. ;)

A week

2008-11-03T12:19:00.003+01:00

It have been like a week since my last post. If you exclude that Quiz thing. As some of you all know I'm back at my moms place and have been here since friday. My rollercoaster have finaly started to calm down or atleast stay high up instead of being down so often. Maybe its cause i have gotten a new light in my life or something.
("Think Geek")Besides that i now know a couple who will have a real rollercoaster trip ahead of them. That is Lilah an Ethan who just got married today in Jamaica. So i wish them all the best of luck and happy honeymoon. I have known the two of you for 3 years already and i know things will go well between with eachother besides that Ethan might blow up the house if your unlucky and dont catch him in the right time. ;)
Viv went away today to meet relatives who lives a distance away from Taiping. She wont be back until 13th of november. So now i have no night time buddy to talk with. Anyone who wanna temponairly replace her or act like her? She'll hopefully get connection somewhere or it depends on if she goes to China or not during that time. Well we'll see.
My birthday is tomorrow. I so hope i wont get so many presents. Never really liked getting presents from people. Makes me feel bad when i get them and havent gotten the other person presents. Make me feel like i'm egoist. And worse its gonna be on the 8th cuase then i'll be down to my grandmother and recive quite a few of them. Well i guess i have to live with it for the time being.
The game is put on hold at the moment. Instead i will work on a project called Operation Galahad when i get back. And its a single player series for Crysis. Hopefully it will be finished by the time Dreamhack starts so my friends can test it before its delivered to rest of the people on CryMod. This will hopefully help me advance in level design a little.

And now for the big tag Viv is making me doing

TAG 1;

1) Do you think you're hot ?
Cant say i am.

2) Upload your favorite picture of you!

Dont have such thing

3) Why do you like that picture ?
Refer the above answer.

4) When was the last time you ate pizza ?
This friday

5) The last song you listen to ?
Serj tankian - Baby (Youtube)

6) What are you doing right now besides this ?
Youtubing

7) What name would you prefer besides yours ?
Hmm dunno.

People to tag .
1) Dila
2) Amelia?
3) Shugar shorty
4) Anyone else wanna?

8) Who is number one ?
Dila a friend of mine. Though its like she is keeping away from me lately.

9) Number three is having a relationship with ?
Hmm i dont know

10) Say something about number two ?
Wiz kid. ;)

11) How about number four ?
Depends. ;)

TAG 2;

5 people to tag- I tag;
I just did 4

1. Name the people you tagged.
Look at the last tagg

2. Describe yourself in one word.
Weird

3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
The one I love.

4. Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
Yepp

5. How if people reject your confess face to face?
Darn, just try to move on.

6. God is giving u just 5 more minutes before going back to heaven, IF you love someone special, what will you say to that person?
I have no idea at this moment

7. What will you say to a person who doesn't want to believe you?
Thats up to you.

8. Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
Not really cause i have always been the one trying making others love me. :/

9. Do you have something special with you all the time?
Dunno. :P

10. Long distance love ?
Please not again. Too much pain being so far from eachother

11. Best place to cry?
Dunno any suggestions?

12. Who do you love the most?
God?

13. Tell us of your dream last night?
Hmm maybe some naughty dream maybe. ;)

14. Ever hated someone so bad?
Hate we all do at times.

15. The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
Dont remember. Or maybe dont wanna remember. :/

16. The last person you had a beer with?
My buds. ;)

17. The last person you went to the movies with?
Ashikin

18. The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
Uhm mom?

19. The last person you hugged?
Uhm dont remember.

20. The last person you yelled at?
Havent yelled in a while.

21. In the last week have you kissed someone?
Nope last one was months ago.

22. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
Angry at myself?

23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
I have no idea

24. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
Hmm maybe Canada or maybe New Zealand. Though i can settle with UK. ;)

25. What do you hate the most?
So many things.

26. What would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Love.

27. Five facts About Me:
- Weird
- Calm as a cow when i feel like it. :P
- Paranoid. (can be at times)
- Emotional
- Crazy

28. Five things that scare me:
- Not much that really scare me except death

29. Two Songs Playing in My Head Lately:
- Rise against - Ready to fall
- Agnes - On and on (Why?!)

30. Five Things I treasure in my life
- God.
- Family
- Dizzie
- Love
- Friends

TAG 3;

1.Why do you chose to be tagged anyway ?
- She made me. ;)

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
- Both are as important

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
- Havent happened in years.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
- Haha nope

5. How many babies you want?
- Dunno maybe least 2. Or it is depending on the girl. ;)

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Huh what? Me no understand

7. What is your goal for this year?
- This year? Hmm and its about to end. Have no idea at this moment

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
- Shouldn't it be eternal love? Though maybe. Not sure at the moment.

9. What's your nickname??
- Kenny, Big B, Carrot man, Zorerk,

10.What feeling do you love most?
- Dunno

11. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?
- Love and affection. ;)

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people you hate ?
- Hi guys how are you? :P

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- They have their ups and downs. ;)

14. What does flying means to you?
- Flying? Duh. :P

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
- Food

16. Who's hotter, Chace Crawford or Kevin Peake?
- I have no idea who either of those two are. :P

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.
- She is a dancing lullaby? Dunno how to write about her in just 5 words.

18. What do you want to do now?
- Breakfast?

19. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
- No idea. Alot of pain in my past.

20. What are your fear(s)?
- Hmm this i answered before. :/

2008-11-01T20:26:00.000+01:00

Random post though i will update more later.

Quiz from

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Horrible night

2008-10-23T15:11:00.003+02:00

Clock is like 15.00 and i just woke up from 3 hours of sleep. Today/yesterday night was horrible. Couldnt sleep at all. But it had its reasons.

My nice neighbours was up all night being drunk and shouting.
After they went to sleep at around 04:30 i couldnt sleep due to my body had gone into a state of awareness. And i promise you thats not fun.

After they fell asleep i couldnt (Dam them!). I decided to go to school early. Just to work off some old stuff. I got there bought coffée just in case i would feel sleepy. Went up to the labs and sat down to work. After like 45 mins i noticed something was wrong with me. Started to feel like throwing up. Wrn to the bath room and waited for a while. Though there came only air but the feeling never went away. Went back to the lab even though i felt sick. While sitting there i started to think about why i felt so sick. The only good explenation i could come up with was the lack of sleep. After starting again with the lab i noticed i forgot to bring my pencil. Guess the awareness has its down sides. So i went down to ICA a quicke and during that time while i was walking out i didnt feel as sick. Hmm weird stomach off mine. Got back and sat down again and the feeling came back

So i though hey maybe i should rest a little before i continue with my studies. So i layed my head down to the board and tried to fall asleep. Clock is now 10:35. While trying to sleep i just cant fall asleep cause i really heard everything. Had the windows open so i heard when cars drove by and everything. After awhile i finally start to feel that i am falling asleep. Then it just happen. 20 first yearers come into the lab and started to make loads of noices. Checked the clock and the time was 10:50. The agony! (Those who knows how i am when i havent slept enough understand me) I really felt like slitting their throats. But i ended up not to. Talked to them and why in the world they were there. They said that the computer lab was booked (I checked before i went if the lab was booked and it wasnt) After checking again it seems the teacher had booked it one hour before they came. With the thinking how much noice they did and i still felt sick. I thought that at that time it was better to just go back home and sleep there now instead. And so i packed my bag again with my lapyop and everything. And went to the buss. Waited for like 4 mins (thank god) and the buss was there. Went on it and sat down in the middle of the buss. After driving about 5 mins i notice this ride wasnt gonna be fun. Cause the buss was shacking all the time and i felt worse due to the shaking. And then driver hit stuff like the edges. And i really got afraid that something would happen along the way. And my stomach got just worse. Though i came down to Råslätt safe and sound. Went back home and into my room directly and it was dead silent in the apartment. Finally i tought to myself. Went directly to bed but of course took off my clothes. After like 3 mins of lying in the bed i heard something. Sounded like a helicopter, and it was buzzing outside my window. Looked out and noticed that one had landed on the fotball arena just outside of my house. And there was some game going on so i guessed it was some sort of event. The Helicopter was on for like 20 mins before it went away, then i finally fell asleep. And sleept to 15:00. Ooh so happy i am now. :P

Scandinavian drum tour

2008-10-21T12:14:00.012+02:00

Yesterday was pretty normal day except for the evening where i went and saw a drum show. Must say it was pretty amazing. Never been on a drum show before. Show started at 18:30 though i was there already at 18:00 just to ensure there wasnt as big line. Got to Harry's (Famous pub in sweden) where it was located. When i saw the front dorr i saw loads of kids. I started to wonder if i have gotten the whole thing right though i asked one of the people there. And they said the kids was just from the music school and they were waiting for the music teacher to bring them in. So i went in. After leaving my jacket i went further into the pub and saw banners for the music shop i had gotten my vip ticket. Was about to go in then i saw Mike. And he greeted me and after some chit chatting i walked in.

I saw the stage and there was a few people there and most of the seats was taken so i went to the second floor cause there werent as many people there. Went up an took a nice seat and waited. Had to wait for almost an hour before anyone went up on the stage. It started of as any other show with a little introduction with what people who's gonna play and such. after that this guy started talking about himself and drums. Turns out he's some drum expert so he babbled away about drums for maybe 15 mins.
After the guy had stopped talking Wikman & Bylin proyecto came oout and talked a little what they had done and such. Some jokes came up also. They were two drummers whom focus on music like Samba and Salsa. And i say when they started playing it was like magical. I have heard loads music played by Safri Duo and i thiught they were great. But now these guys came out and really took me away with how they were drumming. (Possibly new fan)
After ending with their 10 min long composition they called Brainstorm. Some left after this, mostly the girls. Though one came up and stood beside me and we started talking for a little while. While we talked the first guy came up again on stage and continued talking. We sort of skipped him cause he was not intressting either way and he was only up to kill some time due to the had to change a little on the stage. After they finished fixing the stage he went off quite quickly. I guess he didnt feel so comfortable up there. ;PNext guy up was Erik Thyselius a Metal drummer for the band Scarpoint. As the others also did he had to talk before playing. It was noticable that he wasnt so used to talk before people when he was about to perform. Well the ear got a little shock first when it started to hear him play. I guess it was on the Samba mode still cause it was surprised when it heard the heavy metal. Though as a heavy metal fan it was joy for my ears either way. After he was finished this guy came up sdtarted hugging and kissing the girl whom i was talking with before and then i see his face. It was Mike. My god i had really no idea that was his girl. After some chit chatting and everything next person came up on the stage.
Next out was Ricard Huxflux Netterman whom is famous through being a drummer for singers like Eric Gadd and Peter Jöback. Though you non swedish readers i guess doesnt know who they are either way.
After playing a little i felt like this guy wasnt anything special. I was just sitting there drumming but nothing good atleast for me came out of it. Atleast i from what i know felt that the others were better and this guy hadnt the same kind of feeling in the music. Maybe it was just me but hey i'm me right? :P

Last one out Morgan Åhlgren. He was a nutcase really. First thing he did was when he got the microphone was to bang it to the wall and then he played the drums with it. I really thought he was out of his mind at that point. After that he started throwing his sticks around and still beating the mic on the drums. After a while he started to calm down. And i can say most of the people were shocked and so i was i. Then he started talking a little about his drums like nothing had happend and people was asking him about Frank Zappa. After the chit chatting with everyone who eas watching he started again. This time he didnt use his microphone atleast. Though he was fast and the music he played was really awsome. Not magical but awesome. And he went on in the same pace for like 20 mins and he really looked like a nutcase while working on those drums. His face was like going up and down and made lots of faces. A hilarious guy really to listen to and watch.

After Morgan was done. He called out everyone and everyone played together but it was really noticble that they hadnt trained in something together but they were having fun while drumming together. Can tell you it wasnt the greatest thing i have heard but it was fun to listen to and watch. After the show was over i went over to Mike and thanked him for inviting me and then i went home. Clock was like 23:00 and i was really tired. Came home and fell asleep shortly afterwards. A truely fun night i must say.

Thank you Viv again for giving that music mood again. :P

Wait what?

2008-10-19T18:12:00.002+02:00

How did this happen? Anyone?

1 month

2008-10-19T14:05:00.004+02:00

Found a small mapp on my computer with old pictures and noticed that i have changed my apperance alot during just a month. Though this last month things really changed parts of my life. Well first of i'm single as most of you already know and i have been growing or atleast trying to grow a circle beard. Though bad as it is my face cant be fully covered with beard so i guess i have to give up on that. Though for those who want to see how much i have changed.

Big change? Well thats all for now. Good luck too all of you. And be blessed as many others say. ;)

Friday and slacking

2008-10-17T12:52:00.003+02:00

Friday the last day of working week or for me study week. Final exam today got 62.3% so i guess i'm satisfied. Not much of a study head and hardly been able to study while we have had the projects. But either way i'll redo it a week after new year. Need to get higher scores you know. ;)

The day before yesterday Viv and i was talking alittle random stuff. Then we got into music and talked about that we both played instruments but at the moment i wasnt cause of the school. Though after a little chitchatting i felt a real urge to start again. And guess what happened yesterday i started playing on it. And everything came back quite quickly. Though i'm not as good as i was before but i'll get better than i was before by christmas i think. Will be alot of playing now ahead. Beside of that before i started to play yesterday i went down to town to get myself a cable to the speaker otherwise i can really use it or experiment. When i got down i met a old friend of mine that works in the shop. Mike from the united states, though i can tell you that his swedish has really improved since last time i met him. Now it sounds like he have been here for like 3 years though in reality he have only been here for a year. Though after som chatting and paying for the new cable he gave me a piece of paper. I read it and on it said there was gonna be a drum show next monday then he told me to turn around on the flyer and then blinked at me. I read and then i noticed that he had given me a VIP ticket. I became like this i cant accept. Though he pushed me into taking it either way. So on Monday i'm going for a drum show in town. ^^

Most of the people who knows me, knows that im a video game freak and some knows i play World of warcraft at times. Well a few days ago a new patch was released and i became finally some new stuff. Well after downloading the new 700MB sized patch and started to install it it said something went wrong during the install and i should just retry it. And so i did a few times and same thing ever time. So i redownloaded the path like 4 times and the same thing happens, then i just re installed the dam thing. That took me like 4 hours. Darn big game right? After everything was installed and patched i then tried to connect to the servers just to see some small stuff. (clock is like 23.00) And what happens no login server was online. Well well i thought maybe i can play some today. I got online a little today and after a short session the game crashes all the time as soon as i log on to my main character. Hmm hope Blizzard fix this soon otherwise they are stealing my money. :(

Well thats what i had to say for now. Be blessed. ;)

Day off

2008-10-15T12:39:00.003+02:00

Finally a day away from school. And tonight I have been sleeping like a baby. I feel way better today than I did yesterday. Though I guess its cause today I can slack off a little. But then again in a few hours i will study either way.

We have gotten our results back from school about the network services course. We scored 18 on the project and i think that was quite well done by us with the thinking we only were 5 and one was a slacker who didn't fully follow the schedule. We were talking about failing the slacker but we ended up not to. Though we distributed the points as follows 3,3,3,4,5 and I got one of the 3's. Well I'm pleased with that. Felt like even if the others wanted to give me a 4 I probably would had said no. Had a few personal issues during the time that made the group halt a little. Well there isn't much that can be done about that now either way.

Some of you all know this maybe already, but I am keeping track on how many who visits my site. Got a mail from the service that keeps track of all the visits yesterday and told me that my log file was about to be overfilled. I became like owh no now I might not be able to check how many visits me. Though after mailing them back about how it really works I found out that they'll erase the oldest ones and just insert the new ones (thank god *phew*). And then after that I checked a little about how it is going with my blogg how many visits and such and i can tell you all that its going pretty good. From having 9 returning visitors last week to now having around 15-22 each day i only say thank you all. ^^

Though those who know me well knows that i am a computer geek and knows i prefer Linux over Windows. Though lately i havent been using it until a few days ago. Been having troubles with my network and sound. But then 3 days ago i sat down with the problems and i fixed it. And now i'm in love again. ;)
Linux is pretty complicated sometimes but when things work nothing brings it down except new crappy updates. :P

I have starte playing Final Fantasy 9 and i have already made up my team. And guess whos gonna be in it. Vivi! Have so far I have only gotten to disc two so i wont be able to just use my team as i want yet. Pretty long before i can start choosing my team though i'm already longing for it. Though i have been playing it on Windows though i'm gonna try it out now on Linux and see if i manage it to start working. Wish me luck and thank you all again

Failure

2008-10-14T17:42:00.003+02:00

Feeling horrible at the moment. And I tell you today have been a bad day. Started off with that i went up early to school. Like 2 hours earlier than usually. Got there and my freaking stomach start to crap me. And it went on the whole day. Thought it was cause of the nerves before the exam. While having that annoying stomach i worked off the last on the last project (*breaths out* Finally!). Had to hurry on it cause it had to be finished before my exam ended. Lunch came around 11 with the thinking my exam started at 13 so no need to rush. One problem though with the lunch my friends really wanted to eat thai food. And they knew how i felt at that moment. But they really wanted to. So we went to a place called Jungle thai and ate. And my stomach went even more crazy afterwards (curses). We went back and i checked the last stuff before going to the exam labratory. Went in and sat down. Wait for like 30 mins and then we start. After like 25 mins i finished the first part of the exam And started preparing for part two the very practical. Cause part 1 is just planning. And pre part 2 your allowed to build configurations without touching any of the network equipment. And when part 2 starts things gets rough. Everything goes fine even when i start part 2. I start configurationg and about 1 hour into implementing i notice something horrible has happened. I put all my configurations in the wrong places. And i look at the time and see that there is only 1 hour left that means half the time of part 2 is spilled. Then i started thinking that if i restarted now i would be where i was at that time but one hour later. Then by that time i havent built up the rest of that i should had done that would take like 30 more mins. So i needed 1h and 30mins but only got 1h. So i knew even if i tried i wouldnt have enough time cause during that time there will come troubleshoting. So i said to the teacher i give up and explained the situation to him. And he understood exactly my reasoning. So i packed my bag and went out. And what i noticed was my stomach was calm. Hardly could believe it. But instead i felt really bad and down instead.

And here i am being a little depressed hopefully things will get better soon. Anyone who can cheer me up?

Cake flushing

2008-10-12T23:07:00.003+02:00

I have no idea why i'm laughing like crazy due to this video. And i have no reason why to upload it either but here it goes either way.

Sunday

2008-10-12T21:45:00.004+02:00

Today not much happened really. Though one thing that happened today was that i somehow woke up at 6 this morning. I must say that pretty unique for me, i usually wake up around like 11 to 13. But 6 o'clock? Something is wrong with me. Though even if i woke up that early i went back to sleep again. Yea i know i am a sleepyhead. But i tell you i have earned it.

Whilke sleeping I dreamt. And I have a special dream. I was in my bed and then it knocked on my door. Nathaniel told me that I had a visitor. I told him to let the person in. The person went in and then he stood outside of the sheet of cloth I have covering my bedroom area. What I saw was a tall man and he was a little chubby. He opened up the sheets and i saw who it was. I couldnt believe who it was. As much as i was filled with joy i also was filled with anger. My father was there. He stood there right infront of me and looked exactly as I last remembered him. He gave me a hug and I hugged him back. He told me that he and I needed to talk. And the midst of that i felt like crying like really bad. As i always do i try to keep that part of me away. He then started talking about what "really" happend that day. He said he had to make it look like he was dead to protect me and the rest of the family. And during this whole time he had been in jail of a reason he didnt want to tell me. After he said that i hit my knuckles on the wall and i woke up. As i woke up i felt that my hand was hurting. So i guess i really hit the wall while i was asleep.

After waking up and started to make breakfast i got a sms from my mother saying they are gonna have another dog. And it was gonna be a Jack russel terrier. I became like WT*. This she have to explain to me. (Btw the clock is like 12 when this happened) I called her and starting asking her what in the world was going on. She have told me before like loads of times that she wont have another dog after Dizzie. Then she explained that it was a dog imported from Ireland that couldnt find a home there so it was moved to sweden. Then my mother sort of fell in love with it when she heard about it and had to get it. Actually its not really a Jack russel its actually a mix between a chihuahua and jack russel. Though for those wondering how it looks like here it comes.
Well for those wondering my family is dog lovers and so am i. Actually have said quite few times before that when things are stable for me or that i have a family i must have a dog (Labrador). During my whole life i have had 2 dogs. One labrador called Jappe (Jasper) and one Groenendal (Dizzie Diamond). And i can tell you that i was more in love with Jappe than i was with Dizzie. Well he was there the whole time i grew up. Had like a special bond with him. But Dizzie she is like a pup and she always will be in my eyes even though she is pretty old now.

Not much else have happened today other than me being in school most of the day studying and preparing for the practical exam on tuesday. I hope i pass on it. Actually i have to. So wish me luck will you? ;)

Thank you

2008-10-11T23:57:00.001+02:00

Forgot to mention something in my previous post. That is thank you Viv for the link to blogskins. Wouldnt have found this template if it wasnt for you. ^^

Dizzie

2008-10-10T22:28:00.003+02:00

Okey Finaly i found a template i liked. And if you wonder why this template. Well i'll tell you that i'm a Final Fantasy fan. And i have played most games between I to XII. Though this is taken from Final Fantasy 9 and the character is Vivi a black mage who have a mind of his own. And he struggles all the time with where he came from and why he was made. I must say the character in the game is a really strong one and deep one. Most of the game circles about him even though he isnt the main character.

Well more news in my life is that yesterday i got a sms from my sister that something was wrong with Dizzie. For those who dont know who Dizzie is she is my dog or actually my family dog. She getting pretty old. At the moment she's 13 and that pretty old for being of her race. If you calculate it over to human years she would now be 91 years. I messaged my mother as soon as i was able to over msn and asked what was going on and she told me that she probably had gotten a blood clot in her brain cause she was paralyzed in the morning. They had called a vet and checked with them and they said that closest vet that was in duty at that moment was located in Helsingborg and thats 2 hours drive from where my mother lives. After about 30 mins it had been worn out but she was weak. Checked with my mom today also and she said that she had gotten a little better but she was still weak.

Dizzie stay strong, you might be old but you have proven before that age doesnt put you down.

2008-10-09T20:10:00.004+02:00

Friday and time for a new post. Can tell you first off that this week have been horrible. Had a presentation today and we finished everything yesterday. Though th teacher said our one was one of the better ones. We even managed to get afew bonus points. Though next up is some writing about multicasting. Then on tuesday i'll have practical exam and on friday its the final test for CCNP 1. Wish me luck will you?

If your a returning visitor you probably noticed that the layout have been changed and i tell you i wont continue with this one for long. Just tried it out and now i'm trying to find a new one cause i already dont like it. Anyone who can recommend one that would fit me? Cause so far i have been quite out of luck.

Was checking out some salary's for people who is so called Cisco Certified. After checking the year salary in UK i was really amazed. I can tell you that if i would save all that money each month i would be called millioner back here in sweden after just 1 year and 2 months and i tell you that is loads of money. My mother would maybe earn that amount after like 4-5 years. And the best part is that they are really looking for people with the Cisco Certification. Just this month they added 700 new jobs in London for the level of Network associate. And i can tell you that at the moment i'm going for the Network proffesional level. I have a feeling i will probably get a job there easily. Though when i looked over sweden i only found 10 new jobs this month. And the biggest problem right now is that here in sweden there is really lacking of job in area. Even though they say that the so called IT bubble have broken here, there is hardly any new jobs. So i guess going away working somewhere else is maybe a good thing. But then again it would be a great experience to have that in your baggage later if i go back to sweden later or somewhere else.

Life after this

2008-10-06T22:34:00.005+02:00

Still a little sick but atleast i think i am thinking clearly. Though today i have really decided. A decision that will probably change my life quite alot. For some it might seem crazy and for some maybe it's a great thing. But for me this is something i have wanted for years. And it is about moving to Great Brittain. Though i have already decided on London. Its not really been a dream my whole life or anything but i have been wanting it for many years now. Even though many says its not that big of a difference than back here in Sweden. Maybe its not but it is diffrent in other ways and there i most probably can feel that im restarting my life and can become the person i want to be. Cause back here in sweden everything will just drag with me behind my back. All the 'history' i have made, things that have marked me for life, world i put myself into. I sort of like it in a way i have it here, but then again i feel that something is waiting for me there. Actually last days there have been thoughts about Australia. But that i guess is something i just wanted cause i knew she wants to go there and study. But then i guess i just have to let go off just hoping that going there will make things all right. Cause really when i am there what will i do? Work in the heating sun in some office? I rather do that in a office in a country where i can have all the seasons. Instead of in a country where the lowest temperature is 8C.
And i sort off already planned on when i'm gonna move there. Hold on this might come shocking for some people. But i will try as fast as possible really after i'm finished here with the studies. But also i have to work here for like 2-3months first so i have some money to survive there in the very beginning. So around maybe November 2009 i will go to London my very first time in my life and live there. And i am not letting someone go in my way for that.

Monday and sick

2008-10-06T15:04:00.003+02:00

What a horrible day it is today. It all started before i woke up. My stupid stomach started to fail on me. Around 03:00 this morning when i was about to fall asleep i felt that something was terrible wrong with my stomach. I felt sick and it hurted. I sort of knew what was comming. First thing i did was to get my blue bucket and put it right next to the bed. I can tell you all now nothing came other than air and some white phlegm. After awhile i fell asleep and woke up around 7 to send a sms to my friends that i wasnt comming this morning cause i didnt want to risk throwing up in school. Sent the sms and fell asleep again. Woke up around 2 hours later due to a call from Johan wondering where i was. And i asked him if he hadnt gotten an sms from me and he said no. I checked my outbox on the phone and it said i sent a message to him but it hadnt arrived. Horrible phone system. So i had to tell him what was up and i would try to get to school later if i felt better. Then i fell asleep again. Woke up around 11:00 to just throw up. And still nothing came out of me other than air and phlegm. Stayed up after that. Get an sms from Håkan that said they needed a extra harddrive and if i was fine enough to go to school now. I told them no not fine now. Sent the sms but it took like 45 mins before i got the message about that the sms was recived. Something really seems to be wrong with the telecom system today. After awhile the police called again and i became; What now? Then something said to me it was probably about the letter i got a few days back but no it seems they had gotten new evidence on the case and they wanted me to check on the new evidence. So i said okey. And guess what happens i throw up in the middle of the phone call. One of the really embarrasing things i have done in a long time. I guess i gave that police man a shock. Well it ended with that in a months time or so i will have to visit the local police to witness and see if i can point out who assulted me that day about a year ago.

Nice day or what do you all say?
Or actually something good happened today atleast. I was able to watch the latest episode of Dexter in peace. ^^

Her

2008-10-05T18:02:00.004+02:00

Was out today. Walking in the pouring rain for like an hour. Refreashing in a way though one thing always went through my head and it was her. Even though i'm saying that i am moving on and everything i still feel i cant let go. I sit with a conversation window open with her on the other end but i never write anything. And everytime i see a picture of her i feel so guilty and bad i just feel like crying out loud. Even though that i everyday make plans on how i'm gonna get her back but there is never anything i dare to do or thats something that i cant do now. And now when she was away for a few days i was worried as hell about her. The only thing i did during that time was just working either way. I wish i could just go back in time and just miss that plane back on KLIA. That way i would had been stuck there and would had made things diffrently. Through this all i feel like i'm some stalker that cant let go. I dont even know if she would be happy anymore if i tried or if i would be some annoyence to her. Does she wants me back or does she just want me to just let go? I'm not sure if dare to know the answer. Even though i still love her as much now as i did before i'm also afraid that i'll hurt her badly again. All i want is for her to be happy though i'm not sure if i'm the one who can bring that happiness to her anymore.

Someone help me. What should i do?

Feelings

2008-10-04T21:55:00.003+02:00

Just feel like showing this lyric

Lostprophets - Always all ways

I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,
But it always comes out wrong,
I think a part of you still loves me,
Even though we're moving on.

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,
Always, all ways you and me,
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me,

Always all ways...

And I'm sorry for what happened,
But I want you there to see,
That I'm changing all my actions,
I don't wanna set you free.

Always, all ways I want to see you through
Always, all ways me and you
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.

'Cause I'm waiting for you,
Yeah, I'm waiting for you,
Give me answers, get me through,
I will wait...

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,
Always, all ways you and me,
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.

'Cause I'm waiting for you,
And I'll wait here for you,
Give me answers, give me through,
I will wait...

'Cause I'm waiting for you,
Yeah I'm waiting for you,
Give me answers, get me through,
I will wait...

Always, all ways

Games, presentation and beard. What a nice post.

2008-10-04T16:38:00.004+02:00

Saturday and i am working on the game. Quite annoying at the moment cause i cant make the map work as i want it to be. It dont wanna load all the textures. Anyone out there with experience with Irllicht that is willing to help me? Its funny now when i work with it, I understand the whole thinking behind it (or atleast almost everything) but i cant write it on my own without using some kind of reference. It was like this also back in Upper secondary school. I understood everything but without the book i hardly was able to write anything on my own. I guess that is how it is in the beginning when doing programming you understand but cant create it from your own two hands without looking at someone else.

But then i have always seen myself as a copy cat. Almost everything i know is copied from someone else. My first computer skills came from looking at a guy when he fixed our old computer. I just looked at what he did and remembered what he did. And in some way i knew i was doing. Cause he never told me what he was doing only that he fixed the computer. Wish i had a similar ability for programming. Things would be much easier that way. Just letting my brain copy paste everything inside my head.

Next week is presentation week. That means we have to show of what we have made with the whole network. And now during this weekend i have to fix the pappers on Virtualistion, Streaming and Dirctory Services. Annoying much. And it is about step 5 and 6 that is the last parts. hopefully i'll be done on sunday. Worst case i'll finish the last on monday. Wish i had more time. *sob, sob*

Btw i have started to grow beard again. At the moment it looks awful but hopefully later it'll look better later. Though i'm gonna try for a Trimmed Circle Beard, but i'm not sure if i can get a real one. How it will turn out we'll see. Might upload a picture of my progress later. Plus that reminds me i need a shave. :/

For those wondering how my "game" looks like at the moment i'll show you all.

Any one have an idea what i should do?

Thursday and lunch

2008-10-02T13:18:00.004+02:00

Seems i'm getting into this whole blogging thing. Even blogging during my lunch break. I am actually even home in my apartment during the lunch. Starting to lack money and i forgot the lunchbox so i had to go back and eat my lunch here.

Have started to notice that i am changeing in a way. I think its probably cause of the whole moving on thing is starting to affect me. I'm not as sad anymore as i have been before but i'm still thinking about what i did and i do it alot. Though that hurts in a way when i think about it, and the bad thing is that a part of me is moving on though i dont really want to do it. Horrible side of me. Dont like being two minded. Pretty annoying at times. :/

Though when it comes to school i have almost been living there the last week. 2 projects that needs to be finished till next week. And everything hangs on one little problem. The eBGP. Though im not gonna go into that cause those who havent read atleast CCNA wont understand a thing of what i'm saying. Though i'll explain it in a easy way.

Person A talks towards Person B and Person B talks back. Person A and B talks the same language but they still dont understand eachother. Person A nor B is deth cause anyone else can talk with Person A and B without problems. Whats wrong? Though in this sense it looks like a relationship issue. But then again its two machines we are talking about. Though i think i'll call this problem the relationship issue. Though its times like these i wonder why i didnt studied Game design and programming instead. Well hopefully it'll work soon. Though i have to go before i get late back at school.

Monday and sleepy

2008-09-29T23:12:00.005+02:00

Clock is 23:13 and i should be asleep. Tomorrow i'm gonna visit Telia Sonera and i have to be at school around 08:00 *sob*. Too freaking early if you ask me. Though i guess i wont have a problem with it now. My sleeping sheduale have changed over the weekend. Somehow i have gotten an easier time to get up in the morning but i have to nap around 18:00. Weird really, though i slept awhile ago i'm still quite sleepy somehow. Something must be wrong with me i never was like that before only times i napped before like that was while i was in Malaysia but that i guess was cause of the heat. But back here in sweden there is no heat now. Maybe my brain is crapping me.

Trying to find some lyrics to fit in with today about how i am feeling, though i cant find any. Annoying, Though anything anyone can recommend to me? And i'm already saying no to The click 5, ryan cabrera, Keith urban or anything like that. Not in the mood for any girl pop or such stuff. Though im hardly ever up for anything like that. Even right now Anthrax and Metallica doesnt sound good enough for me. Its too bad i dont have Rise against or Goldfinger on this computer, they usually get me going. Though Ghost showed me Katatonia yesterday and they were quite nice. And of course its swedish music. :P

Tomorrow morning Heroes comes out. Episode 3 and i can say the season started off quite well, and so far a little better than season 2. Well not only is Heroes gonna be released but so will House MD. Dunno why i like that series really its very repetive somehow. Always the same thing in a way. Always the patient is about to die when House gets what it is.

Well i guess there wont be a lyric instead i'll show some youtube clip of one of my favorite bands

Rise Against - Like the Angel

Rise Against - Paper Wings

And now Amelia i have changed your name so you'll find your link in the list. Look under ShugarShorty, hope you like that better.

A tired Kenny with too many thoughts in his head.

2008-09-27T23:36:00.007+02:00

Well i can start off with gratulating Johan a friend of mine from university and not the other Johan from my hometown. He is gonna be a father around May, so i wish him the best of luck and hope it will be a healthy child.

Besides that at the moment i'm at my mothers place over the weekend due to no reason. Well in a way i need to come away from Jönköping. Stressing out everyday in a way with the thinking exams is comming up and then we will go on a "school trip" to Telia Sonera and see how their network looks like. I'm really 'woho' over that. Notice the irony.

The people over at SYSteam called me last monday and told me that i had been choosen to do the second interview for them. They said they would call me at the end of the week with more information about when it should be. Cause now they were just calling around to tell people that they had gotten further with the interviews. And all of those who know how the system works here knows that it usually happens on a Thursday or on a Friday. Though they never called back. And now its sunday. Well hopefully they were just too busy and will call me on monday or tuesday otherwise i guess i'll just call them back and see what is happening.

Though if i get the full time job i think i might reduce how much i'll be in school and take one course at the time. But not not jumping off school. Just prolong it a little. Plus either way i have like only 2 more courses after this and that would mean i would only need like maybe a half year extra. Plus the loan would be reduced quite fast so i wont need to pay for as long and as much. Though at the moment i am owing them 50'000 SEK. Well if i reduce it as much as possible fast then the faster i can study for Game designing. Though there is still a long way there. And i hope the book is finished by then. And i know someone who'll think i'll just waste time away if i do this. Well i'm sorry to say this but i need money to survive and that comes before studying. I might loose some time on it. But during that time i'm not dependet on others or my results but instead on what i'm good at. Cause i'm not good at studying, but i have always been one who have been good at learning from experince instead of from the theory. And i feel right now that i need that experience to take the next step instead of getting all the theory behind it.

Though today i guess i have been single for about 2 weeks you can say. And i can tell you all it feels horrible. Though it is my fault that i got into the situation of being single. Wish i didnt say what i said to her. But it seems she was able to move on. And i'm happy for her, but i have the trouble moving on myself. There isnt a single day so far i havent thought about what i did and how i can fix it. But at the end of all the thinking i always come up with that she will be happier without me, cause all i do is hurt her and that is why it became this way in the first place. Though i can only say i'm sorry for everything i have done at this moment though i know there is nothing i can return to. So all i wanna do now is just make sure that she is safe and happy. And hopefully there will come a day when she'll find someone she'll go crazy over and that the person she likes can answer those feelings without hurting her. Even though she says she doesnt believe in long lasting love i know she'll find it someday with someone who really will take care of her. Even though it hurts me to say all that and really want her for my own, i really wish for her happiness above my own.

Though as a request to someone out there. Help me move on cause this is killing me. I might be troublesome but maybe you can succeed with helping me move on. Though i prefer someone i can meet rather than someone who's on the other side of the world right now. I can tell you that its not easy when there is a distance and the only way to communicate is through a MSN conversation. So if you live in Sweden and near Jönköping, then just contact me. Dont care if
your not native swedish or that the only way you can communicate is in english. I talk english almost every day now so dont worry.
PS: Don't take the add too seriously i'm just crapping myself away. Though it would be nice to have someone to talk to about the whole thing.

Though just to add a few things to this all and that i find weird. Around the time i got together with her i trained alot of karate but shortly after we got together i lost some of the reason to continue with it. And now when it's over i all of the sudden i feel the need to start to train again. So now i am doing situps and arm heaves regulary and it started right after the breakup. I wonder what its about. This is just theory from a tired Kenny just so you know and can be all out wrong. Maybe i stopped before cause i felt that at that time i had someone i really cared about and that she didnt care about how i fit i was. And now when its over my body just switched over to some sort of single mode where it wants to come back to the fit game. I have already gotten myself 3 new kilos on 2 weeks. And that is freaking fast with the thinking i have been trying hard the last couple of years to gain weight. I guess just some training again would do it. Though back in the days of when i trained Karate i was around the same weight the whole time, even though i trained alot. Maybe now its cause i just make plain muscular training that i gain weight instead of before when i trained the whole of my body and was more into technique training and be able to use the power i had to use it as effectivly as possible. But thats just a theory.

Still playing around with the Irrlicht Engine. Right now i just want to create this floating castle and experiment with NPC and stuff like that. Though no mail about anyone intressted yet though i guess its gonna be like this for quite awhile. Hopefully things will start to move soon, just wished it was already started with production. Well i guess its like this when there is no money involved. Plus there isnt that many that keep track of my blogg. Though i know a few who does and they seem to visit quite alot. But most of the people i know isnt intressted in what i want to do. Well some are but not to the extent to be able to help me or i havent been able to talk to them about it.

Tomorrow i probably gonna work at my mothers antique shop. And i know already i wont like it. I never do. Usually just a bunch of old people comming there to buy things to support the shop and sometimes some other people to come around and look at things. And the place stinks. Though it only seems i'm the only one troubled with it. Everything just smells old and more than half the stuff there i hardly dare to touch. And i can tell you i have no problem with old people, just dont like the aura they give away from themself sometimes. And i'm no psycic or anything but they sometimes really give away a bad aura and you just feel down or depressed from them.

The book is getting delayed. Wrote on it a few days ago but when i started to check everything i noticed things were missing. Most of what i had written on the prologue and the first chapter was gone. I got really mad and really lost the will to write anything. Though i pained myself to rewrite most of what was missing. But i guess some new ideas for the comming chapters came up during that time so in a way i guess it was a good thing. I really need to finish the first book. But i have a feeling it will take quite awhile before it'll be finished. I dont have that much time to write anything. If it werent for all the studys i might have come way further with it. Well God give me strength to finish the first one so i can continue with the rest of the story. There is so much to write and i feel if i just finish the first one the rest will come. Though everything is already here but stuck in my head and have been there for years. Dont fully remember when it all started i remember the first works of it came when i was on my skiiing trip to Idre. I drew a image of a shield with the Phoenix feather crest on it. And it was the first drewing i really felt that it was well made. After that my fantasy have been working like crazy but i never wrote it down. Instead i read alot i remembered.

I read books like Harry potter, Wheel of time and Sword of Truth. And i can tell you all that the wheel of time series is like 22 books in swedish and the Sword of truth is 16 books in swedish at this moment. And more to come for Sword of truth. Actually As you might have seen i got a new link on my link list. Legend of the Seeker is actually the new series of the books of Sword of truth. And i'm eagerly waiting for it to release. Though the first season will only handle the first english book. And that is like the 2 first books in swedish. How they are gonna pull that off i have no idea with the thinking the first season is like 22 episodes that is like 40 min each without advertisements. Well hopefully it'll go well though i can already say that the books is gonna be better than the series. But they wont miss out as much as they do when they make movies out of books. Cause now they have 22x40mins for the first book. *Spoiler Warning* To read just mark the space that is missing.
Though something i really will enjoy later is when Kahlan will ride nude and pale on a horse to scare a whole army and then make them surrender before her. And i probably will get the chills when Richard is gonna learn to handle his powers.

I guess i just have to stop here before i write too much. Became quite alot and i hope you survived reading it all. Well its getting late now and i need to sleep. Well i guess i'll see you all some other day. And dont forget to leave a message after reading this. Cause that'll make me happy. And i'm okey with critizism also though not about spelling cause i already know that i need to fix that. Have a good day or night.

Congratulations

2008-09-19T18:18:00.003+02:00

Ooh two posts on one day. Well actually this is just to congratulate my friend Faust on finally getting published. I hope it'll seel well. I know i'll get all three books atleast. ^^

Game starting off. But slowly...

2008-09-19T16:36:00.005+02:00

Quite awhile since my last update. School projects taking up all my time. I have 3 of them plus my own hobby project.

For those who wonder how its going with the game/hobby project. Then i can tell you its going forward. But very slow. Still writting alot on whats gonna be in it. Though i'm gonna give you all some sneakpeak information of what will come.

The first thing that i will create is this floating castle. What makes the castle float is due to dark ancient magic. And the whole game/story starts there. The whole theme of the game is gonna be Fantasy and im sorry to say this but the only real race there gonna be is humans. But dont be sad cause of that. Even though there is only humans involved there is diffrent kind of human races. And the there is no specific class system. The whole game will be based on actions and your own kind of playstyle will unfold as you play. During game play you will also be allowed follow diffrent paths but also your own ones. There isn't gonna be any real linear story except the very start to start the game off.

The game also wont just be single player game. There will be a realm-like gameplay where people will be able to connect online and interact with each other and make their own stories.

Though the reason now why its going slow is cause i'm the only one working on it. And mainly i'm into the desgin area. So for now i'm making most of the design and sometimes creating some small stuff to see if i can get things working. Though i really need a graphic artist or just a plain level designer who can help out with the first levels or areas.

For those wondering what tools im gonna use it is:

Irrlicht
Blender
Irrklang
Irredit
3D World Studio
Dev-C++

And as far as goes right now i'm gonna use OpenGL as the API that way the game can more easily be ported to other systems to like Linux, Mac, PS3, Wii and Xbox360. Well if anyone wanna contact me and wanna help out this little project of mine. You can contact me at: Zorerk@gmail.com
Or you could leave a message here on the blogg and i'll contact you.

Wednesday shunks

2008-09-10T18:37:00.003+02:00

It's wednesday and I'm sick with a fever. Funny though if you ask other people I should be dead by now, but not cause of sickness but by a blackhole that man created in Cern this morning. But I guess they were wrong. Either way I'm here now and I feel like dying and its not cause I'm sick but cause life just sucks right now. I dont have any energy to do anything and my life just feeling like its falling apart and I cant stop it. Freak I'm 19 and this isnt how i should feel like. There is a whole future for me out there isnt there? But why cant i see it? Am I locking myself in or something? Maybe its all cause i'm not thinking straight. Though when am i thinking straight? Lately I have only been just a bugger for the ones around me. Or it feels like that. Though i started to wonder am i changeing maybe? Or is the world around me changing and i arent? What is really happening? Is it that a part of me wants to change badly but the myself isnt listening maybe? I wish i could just sort things out. Making a life i dont need to think what might happen in the future if i do something. As some people tell me that i do think too much. I guess i am doing it right now. Anyone with tips how i fix this? Though if someone suggest to talk with a therapist or a psycologist, they themself have to pay for it cause i have no money at all anymore. And its 15 days till i get any money. :(

For someone out there. Kill me and revive me when i can take it easy and dont have to think about everything around me.

Life with Irrlicht

2008-09-07T22:53:00.003+02:00

Okey okey i havent updated for awhile now i know. Life is going on pretty smooth right now. Though i got a computer crash on my desktop a few days ago. *sob* Though thats nothing that hinders me really. So now i have changed from Windows XP 64-bits to Windows Vista 32-bit. Yea you read right Windows Vista. Havent really had any good memories with vista though i gave it a new chance. Though now atleast Service pack 1 doesnt crash the computer as it did last time when it was newly released.

Other than that i have now decided what engine i should use. If your wondering what i mean with engine i mean Game engine. Have been struggling with what engine i should use for quite awhile now. All from Crystal space, Irrlicht, "My own engine", Panda3D and Genesis device. But now i have choosen. Its gonna be Irrlicht, even though its not really a game engine but a 3D engine. But i think its better to start off with that rather then struggling with all the other engines cause i have had big problems with a few. Especially Crystal space. It wont even compile as it should. Well irrlicht have been so far almost pain free (Dont wanna run DirectX 8 or 9), but i guess i'll do it with OpenGL cause then it can be run on any platform.

Though the problem is what kind of game should i make first? Or should i just experiment first around and see where i end up? Though is there anyone out there who is willing help me maybe with this? Well i'll upload a pic or two how it look like later. But right now i should just figure out how it all works. Though i can show you all a little what others have created with Irrlicht.

Volleyball

2008-08-31T13:28:00.004+02:00

Sunday and it's study day. Yesterday was quite fun, met up with Johan and Robert. Havent seen either of them in quite awhile. After i met them they told me we are gonna go visit my good old friend Adam. He actually moved one day before me. To a place called Ralingsås outside of Aneby that is located 40 km from my place. He actually went there to study in a bibleschool. Though to my surprise he lived as a intern in the middle of the forrest. And the same time as we came, there was a wedding. Robert was almost like screaming about us being wedding crashers for that wedding. Though we didnt do that. After walking around talking and joking we went and played volleyball with a few of his new friends. We played for like 2-3 hours though i went in after 2 cause my hip was aching up somehow. When i got in i sat there with Adam and talked with loads of people and everyone was like crazily intressted in who i was, were i came from and how i knew Adam. Surprisingly it was mostly girls who asked me. Never have i gotten so many questions from a pair of girls as then. After awhile Robert came in and we noticed that one of the girls was actually one of his old classmates. After a few laughter about that we headed home cause it was getting late and Johan and Robert had to see my new place before they went home. Good thing was i had cleaned it up a little before we went so here comes a few cleaner pics. ;)

There is no door pics casue there is nothing there either way. :P

The past and the present.

2008-08-27T15:55:00.005+02:00

So now i have moved in, started school, gotten my internet connection to my apartment and gotten myself a buss card. Plus met the fellas that live in the same apartment as i of course. They seem to be quite nice where one is from UK (I think, not entirly sure) and one from Australia. So far we just have had some intro talk not much more really. Well we'll see how well we'll get along with each other.

Today is was the second day of school and i already oversleept! :O
But either way i didnt need to be there. Though i got the new material for the course and i promise you it's nothing to be taken lightly anymore. Now it's not like i know more than 50% of it. Now its more of -50%. I guess i jast have to start reading more now so i'll pass the exams. Cause now we need 70% to pass. :(

And stupid f****** that installed my connection put the little connection box right beside my door. And i have only a short cable CAT5 cable. Seems i have to get myself a 10meter cable for 100 bucks. So at the moment i have to use my laptop and sit at the door instead of at my comfortable desk. Well well shit happens as they say. :/

For all of you who wanna see my room here comes a few pics. ;)

This is where my computer have to be for the moment till i have a longer cable. Plus the door to the rest of the world

Point of view: The Door
Sorry its a little messy at the moment but i havent unpacked everything yet.

Point of view: Same place as the first one.
Messy messy. I know atleast two who wont like this. :/

And last but not least my bookshelf! Before i move out of here i have to fill it with books. Anyone who can/want to help me?

Thats all folks. C ya around.

Dreamhack

2008-08-24T22:38:00.003+02:00

Yay the tickets are bought. ^^
Just have to wait till tomorrow until we can do a seat reservation. But either way woho i'm going!
This will be like my 5th time going. Though im still happy for that. Its totally worth it. ^^

2008-08-24T19:06:00.002+02:00

Last days have been pretty boring for me. No one to talk with and nothing to do. Same goes for someone else i know. Though thats cause she dont have a computer at the moment. Well at the moment im just sitting for Fantastic 4 to start on Swedish TV3. Will be the second time i see the movie.

Have had trouble sleeping lately also. Cant seem to fall asleep until like 2.30 - 3.30 even if i go to bed around 10-11. Pretty annoying. Last time it was like that it went through several months. I wonder why i am like that. :/

Tomorrow im moving into the new apartment. And who knows meet the people im gonna live with. Hopefully it wont be that troublesome with them. So far i know 2 of them is new and seems they are maybe international students. Well we'll just see how it'll go.

2008-08-23T19:28:00.001+02:00

Small stuff just for fun that tells who i am. Try it here

You are Purple Tiger, whose comments tend to be imposing, and you possess vigor and your presence is strong.
Your gentleman like atmosphere makes others feel you are rather cold person.
But that is because they only see your sensitive side.
Really, you are warm and honest and considerate person.
You are optimistic, and you will not to give up any little work that you have started, even if the circumstance become unfavorable and difficult.
You possess great persistence.
You possess a wonderful quality of a good leader.
You can show flexible mind towards new things and ideas.
Because you are quick minded, you can develop logical theory while listening to the other person.
You have a tendency to follow your ideals.
If this side of your personality comes out strongly, your thoughts and actions seems too over reacting to others.
If you talk too big, people around you may find it difficult to follow your way.
You are a proud person, and think high of honor.
You cannot change your mind suddenly and according to circumstances.
Nevertheless, it means that you are keeping control of yourself, and helps you from failures.

Small update

2008-08-21T12:49:00.005+02:00

Updates and updates. Added the Shoutbox now so people can spam me a little. Anyone who thinks thats nice is welcome to do so. And thank you Josh for reminding me to add it. Plus i added the ClustrMap. Thats cause i couldnt find anything that checked the amount of visitors i had daily/weekly/monthly. Though ClustrMap keep track of it where they are and around how many who is viewing me by placing dots from where the IP-adress comes from. So lets see how many out there that is checking me out. ;)

Btw i dont like it when people are working on the roof. Or atleast not when they are doing it on my mothers place. First of they are loud. Me no get any sleep during the morning cause of them. :(
Second they can see you. After getting up from bed i usually go to the toilet. I went in and was about to unzip my zipper on my jeans when i hear a sound that sounded like a saw sawing on woods, and it came from above me. I looked up and noticed 2 men looking through the sphere we have in the toilet. I was like OMG! and rushed out of the toilet. Had to take the small one. So now i have to wait till they are done before i can take a shower. Cause i dont wanna go in there and not knowing that they are looking at me while i shower. Well i just have to wait an hour or 2.

As i said in another post. The dreams are back and today i dreamt that i had a child. :S
I have no idea why i would dream about having a child. But i had one and i was running around in this mall to get to some place. Why i had to get there i have no idea. Crazy dreams i say. Always have weird ones. Though what is a normal one? Anyone who can tell what normal one is?

And here is a little extra for this time. A piece of my fantasy book. Actually from the prologue.

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The light was back and it was dancing more gracefully than before. The exotic dancer was back but it is more experienced and faster than last time. Then it stopped. Someone was screaming, a lady voice it was. But where did it came from? The scream got intenser and intenser and it surrounded him. There was no way to localize where it came from. The the light was back, dancing again. The screaming started to fade but as it did there came a warmth that was taking the screams place and as the scream faded the warmer it got. It was like something was burning around him. Without knowing it he had opened his eyes. And he saw a wing, like a bird wing but much bigger and it was black. As he saw the wing he heard something talking but he couldn't hear what the voice said. He bended over and saw a boy. The boy wasn't normal the wing he saw came out of his back and he had two of them.

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Well thats it for now. Tell you all more later. ;)

Okey to hate yourself?

2008-08-20T13:53:00.004+02:00

Its a little more than a week since i got back. And during this whole time i just feel that i wanna go back. And i havent really been able to talk with her either since i got back. We got like one evening to talk before she had to leave her computer to her father for repair. Then she went away to meet relatives. I had no idea i would feel like this when i got back. I feel that i could had gotten out more of the trip but in some way i was too scared of doing things.

I promised Wei that i would meet him but i didn't. I hardly know why i didnt appoint a time with him. And i'm hiding now as offline all day cause i'm afraid that he will be angry at me. Though im not showing myself as offline only cause of that. Somehow i feel that i just lost the will to talk with people at the moment. Before it was all talk all day but now i dont feel that i can or have anything to talk about. Is this after effects from the trip or something else?

The dreams are back also, but now its not about wars. I guess thats a good thing. Now they are like CSI like dreams but still not. Dont remember any of the dreams more than just the end of the last one. Though im not gonna tell about that cause it wouldnt make sense either way.

Thinking about listening to the audio book of Wheel of time. Somehow found the first 6 books as audio books on the net and downloaded the first book. Moved over the first 4 chapters to my phone so i could listen to it anywhere and just at my computer. Got a little annoyed that i couldn't transfer more than 4 chapters to my phone. (Notice to myself: Get yourself a bigger memory for your phone.)

Well thats it for now.

Boring times

2008-08-19T17:51:00.005+02:00

It has gotten into August and still the blogging hasn't started fully. Some of you all probabky wonder what happens with part 2 of the genting story. Though i can tell you that you'll have to wait a little more before i tell more about it. Will do a big update later with the whole trip in it. And i will upload pics from the whole trip.

Though what have i been up to since i got back then? Well not much really, only thing i have done is that i have moved most of my stuff to the new apartment. And i can tell you all its a big upgrade from my last apartment. Now i got 22 square meters. Might not sound that big with the thinking my old place was 17 square meters. Though in this aparment i have a seperated kitchen so now i have more breathing space plus i wont fill up this apartment as i did on the last one (It was litterly filled and i climbing around in it.). Besides of that the apartment is located on 7th floor and i got a amazing view from my room. Actually what i see from my room is the whole sporting area. And as my mom said i have really gotten myself a way better place.

And as you might have noticed i changed the looks of the place. Didnt really like the whole black thing. I have sort of always been having dark colors on me and around me. Though i want to change that. I wanna see more color in my life and not just: Black, grey, brown and blue. It all feels horrible after living with it for a long time.

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I'm sorry, but being blown up is not my primary function!
—C-3PO

Genting

2008-08-02T18:27:00.003+02:00

Sitting at the moment in Starbucks with a few others and my dearly Ashi. Had quite a roller-coaster-day today. (Those who knows what Genting Highlands is know probably what I mean.)
We went through quite alot today. The reason I am here in Genting is cause we got a few tickets for the MTV Asia Awards. (Or atleast that is what we thought) When it was time to check in at the counter yesterday we were told that the tickets was fake. This made things quite bad, cause there we stood with 20 tickets we had been told that came from a person at MTV. And that the person could get fired if the name got out that we had gotten the tickets from that person. Well Even if we knew that the tickets were fake we went and tried to get in either way. After a few hours of waiting and talking with many different people from the MTV crew they just said they couldn't help us. This crushed a few peoples hearts and so did mine. Though thats something we just had to take, though from it we know who we wont get any tickets from in the future. After like an hour of sulking we said that its better to go and do other things and we did. Though that i'll talk about later. Getting a little late so i have to get back to the apartment.

C ya soon.

2008-06-24T13:15:00.000+02:00

Took awhile before i now update my blog with my second post. Have been away for almost a week, visiting my grandmother on my fathers side. Though before i left i got my vaccination. Though the one who booked me for the vaccination booked me to a bad date. The fact is that i have vaccinate myself twice before the Hepatius B vaccination will work with 100%. And the second time have to be the days before i go away to Malaysia. And wasn't enough, the who booked me didnt apoint me any doctor so when i got there, there wasnt anyone who was able to help get the vaccination. So i had to wait for 30 mins extra just so they could find a nurse who wasnt busy for the moment. :/
Well enough of that.
The day after i went down to my grandmother and all of my lovely cousins with my little sister. It went all fine all the way down, though i wonder where my handsfree is.
Then we were there for a few days and hardly ever was allowed to be at the computer. (Grandmother doesnt like when i am at the computer.) So thats why there wasnt any post until now.

Though i wonder what it is with people telling me i should get a girl. Now i know 5 people who have told me directly to me that i should have someone. What does everyone else say? Should i really get someone new? Or should i stay with what i have? Though actually my grandmother have started to pick on my brother also that he should have one. I guess it cause i have a weird family or something.

Though about relationship and what sometimes comes with them. One of my former best friends has gotten himself a baby with a childhood friend of mine. Though i dunno if i should be happy for them or just tell them it was a stupid thing to do with the thinking the guy can be quite irresponsible at times. And due to that they have now seperated. :/

Well that was a few things i had in my mind for the moment. I hope everyone else has a great time and btw i think i have gained 2kg of weight in 2 weeks. (Yay!) :P

I beg your pardon... what do you mean, 'naked'? My parts are showing?! My goodness!

—C-3PO to R2-D2, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

2008-06-16T17:35:00.000+02:00

After someone or maybe some people asked me to start blogging i will now atleast try to make it work with blogging though i'm awfully bad at writting about myself. So we'll see what i write about. Probably in the beginning there will be about my upcomming trip and about a few other things happening in my life, though later on maybe i'll publish some of my ideas and/or art that i have made. Though all of you have to bear with the layout at the moment and hopefully i'll get somekind of good layout later.

Happy reading!