Things are so wrong with me at the moment. Its probably cause I'm tired and all, but i am worrying and my emotions are going nuts at this particular moment. Those of you all who know me the best knows that i have been trying to change and make a new life for myself. That is actually something i always wanted since i was a kid. Now when things have starting rolling on that way of change something in me really tells me to stop and go back. I still feel that i want my life to change but something in me tells me that life still belongs to the very place i have been raised at. All this struggling with creating the new me and soon maybe a possible spot in London. And what happens? My freaking whole body tells me not to do it. Why not just tell me that i should return later after maybe spending some time at a other place? Why? This feeling have been here most of the day. Its pretty annoying really. What makes it worse is when i see something i can connect with my old life. Like this morning i was on a friends Picture Diary and checked out her new pics. The thing was that she had uploaded pics of her and a friend of hers and mine also. A friend i honestly have had feelings for before for a long time. Even though it have been flickering over the years and was vanished now for a few. But when i saw the pic and something told me that if i go i'll lose most people as my friends. Its very weird. Is it just second thoughts? Or was there a plan for me in the beginning? I am quite confused at this moment.

Be blessed as a friend of mine usually tell me.