Showing posts with label Sunday. Show all posts

Sunday and today i have been a good boy. I have cleaned my room. Much cleaner now. ^^
Havent cleaned in awhile actually. I wont say how long ago it was cause then i probably get whipped by someone. Who i dont know but most probably by someone of the opposite gender. Pictures of my cleaned room will be further down.

Though about the other gender in general. Dunno what it is lately but people whom i socialize with seem to want me to hook up with other girls. Have happened twice already on 2 days. Yesterday my housemates started talking about it at the dinner table and the mentioned four people where two names doesnt sound good at all and one i have heard of but never meet even though she lives next door and the fourth one is a lesbian. The names of the two girls or should i say nicknames really is Gorilla and Chimpanse. And i say it doesnt bode well if you ask me. The girl next door i know who she is and what her name is though its told she hardly speaks. Guess its some shy girl. And as i said before the fourth girl is a lesbian. I mean come on? I dont really wanna be together with a lesbian and secondly even though i'm single i'm not really looking either at the moment. Want things to calm down before i even try with someone else. And now the second time was today. Talked with a friend of mine and we got into the talk about me being shy and all. Though she doesnt really believe it cause i was able to talk with a friend of hers without any real problem. Well i just said she was one who easily opened up to talk. Then she told me she actually was a very shy girl. Though from what i noticed she didnt really seemed like that kind. And then she said it. My friend said we might have actually clicked. And then she started to make plans. Well we'll see if that friend of mine really will do as she said. Though if she will try to make us together or something i have no idea what to do. What is it with people and trying to hook me up with other people? They try to ensure i get laid or how you say it? Though worse is probably when i meet my grandparents(mothers side) next time they'll probably ask me to see some girl they know up there. Cause last time they were asking when i would bring up their great grandkids. I mean hello i'm only newly turned 20 the youngest family i know of had their kid at the age of 23. And not to be critisising against him but for me that feels alittle too young. But thats just me i guess.

Well have a great night and enjoy pictures of my room. ^^

Dunno whats really with myself sometimes. Lately or actually for quite some time i have had the urge to always have people around me and make notice of me without having myself to show myself off. If i dont get that social attention i somehow get deppressed somehow. Not sure where i got it from but i guess on being an outcast for many years have made its mark on me. Even now i feel still feel like an outcast. Though mostly now its cause i woke up at 12pm and noticed my housemates was gone. I guess they went to some party not sure though. Either way due to that i felt really depressed and left out even though it was really my fault for falling asleep early. Dumbshit me! So just to cheer me up in some way i went online on MSN and looked if someone wanted to talk with me. But nope no one was up to it. Felt angry cause no one wanted to talk with me. Why am i so dependet on people?! :(
Next try is a shameful one really and i do confess. I went on 4chan.org . For those who doesnt know what 4chan is then i'll tell you its a picture forum where you can upload any kind of photo and that includes even pornographic pictures. And i warn you dont visit the random area or that people call /b/ cause already (havent been on that site for a long time) i have seen pictures that are illegal anywhere in the world. Either way i went there to check if there was anything to make me feel a little better but there was none. Was even on /s/ and it only made me wonder why there is so many of pictures of girls naked online. And i mean just go to /s/ and you will maybe find even the girl next door or something (not that it has happened). Either way it didnt really help.
Though i guess its that i have people to talk with during the day i can keep myself sane each day. I thank you all for it. And those who have helped me through the last months i'm extra grateful towards. Dont think i wouldnt be standing without the help i got. As much as the last months have strengthen me it have also opened me for something else and i hope it will be good cause i really dont wanna bring people down in the future due to my miserableness.

Good night. I hope it was readable. ;)

Second post today and a late one as usuall. ;)
Finally i finished cleaning up one of the continents. And as you can see its called Nasdir. And this continent is where things will start off at. Though right now there is three continents but only this one is finished for cleaning. Will probably finish the others later. Though i will show off a little how things looked like before i photoshoped the map. ^^

Its sunday and i'm watching Singing Bee on TV3. Not often i watch tv i tell you. Was away and visted my grandmother yesterday actually. Well i went cause its a little tradition to have the birthday party with the relatives or atleast on my fathers side. This time was a little diffrent. My biological grandfather was there. It was like 2 years since i last saw him. And it was when we put my father to the sea outside of Helsingborg. When i saw him i so saw my fathers face in his stead. Directly i got like a stone in my throat. Horrible but played on looking "cool". Alot of mischef with my small cousins and a few hours alter we went back. The day wasnt that great really. Though i guess the day wasnt so good due to two reasons. First of i was quite worried about a person. I knew i shouldnt have been as worried as i was. All cause i didnt fully know what was going on the other side of the world. Feels like i'm getting dependent on always knowing what's going in other peoples life. But today i atleast heard why things ended up as it did. And i can say i really felt relief. Worst thing was that i dreamt about that same person and it was almost like a nightmare. I guess most people would had seen it as a nightmare but i can say i didnt really got scared by it. Maybe it was a sign that i care about the person more than i realise.
Second reason is cause i saw a few pictures of Ashikin in 3 diffrent dresses. I have no idea but when i saw her in those dresses i felt really bad. Even though i have nothing to do with her anymore. Probably i'm still in one of the phases of breakup i guess. Though its weird. I have found someone that makes me feel good again. And i mean really good, but as soon as i see a new picture of Ashikin i suddenly feel sad till i am able to talk with the other one. I am a really messed up person aint i? Hopefully i will calm down. Or maybe that is how i am gonna live my life as a rollercoaster. Though how do i become a more calm person?

And here comes a vid. ;)

How did this happen? Anyone?

I have no idea why i'm laughing like crazy due to this video. And i have no reason why to upload it either but here it goes either way.