Its time for me to confess something. One major thing that i have disliked about my behaviour the last year/years. Its something that is rare to see me doing due to the fact of how horrible i feel afterwards about it. And i hope the majority of you all will accept my decision and stop asking questions about why.

Its so that i have decided to stop drinking. Sadly there is a fact that i have lied to some people i have cared and loved. I did drink at some occasions. And at those few occasions i just wanted to disconnect from the world i was living. But after everytime i have done it I'm left with a ton of guilt. A guilt of knowing that i have hurt myself and some of those around me. Sometimes i have also done it to just get accepted by some people but i guess their view of me wouldn't had differed if i had drank any or not. But there is a even greater weight on the aftermath when i have drank. The aftermath I'm talking about isn't the wasted state i get the day after but how i feel about the weeks afterwards. There is a fact that a part of my family have had different kind of problems with drugs and alcohol over the years. But also i have seen friends getting injured from the effects of the alcohol. And its not that I'm afraid of what the alcohol might do to me, its rather what i can do with it and whom i become when its used. Most of the times that i have been drinking have been with connection to depression. Depression that have come with problems with my life. Times when i have felt locked up or when i have been struggling with my past/family.

As a young kid i did make a promise to myself that i have been partly following. And its that i shall make my life right. And not follow a certain family members footprints.
The person was a great person to me even though the persons life ended with anger, sadness, alcohol and drugs. This gave me a view of how close bad things were to me in reality. Sadly i partly took in what partly brought the person down. And that was the alcohol. But now after quite a long time i understand what i have been doing and have decided fully to not drink again.

So if you ever want to buy me a drink some time then get me a alcohol free beer cause i wont accept much else.I really hope you all understand my decision. And its not like i have been ever an alcoholic but there is a fact that i don't like myself drinking it. Your welcome to drink in my presence cause its your choice and not mine and i wont judge you for it. But please don't try to make me drink some.

I had something else on my mind also but forgot. I guess i'll take that another time. Till then. C you and good luck.