Well i can start off with gratulating Johan a friend of mine from university and not the other Johan from my hometown. He is gonna be a father around May, so i wish him the best of luck and hope it will be a healthy child.

Besides that at the moment i'm at my mothers place over the weekend due to no reason. Well in a way i need to come away from Jönköping. Stressing out everyday in a way with the thinking exams is comming up and then we will go on a "school trip" to Telia Sonera and see how their network looks like. I'm really 'woho' over that. Notice the irony.

The people over at SYSteam called me last monday and told me that i had been choosen to do the second interview for them. They said they would call me at the end of the week with more information about when it should be. Cause now they were just calling around to tell people that they had gotten further with the interviews. And all of those who know how the system works here knows that it usually happens on a Thursday or on a Friday. Though they never called back. And now its sunday. Well hopefully they were just too busy and will call me on monday or tuesday otherwise i guess i'll just call them back and see what is happening.

Though if i get the full time job i think i might reduce how much i'll be in school and take one course at the time. But not not jumping off school. Just prolong it a little. Plus either way i have like only 2 more courses after this and that would mean i would only need like maybe a half year extra. Plus the loan would be reduced quite fast so i wont need to pay for as long and as much. Though at the moment i am owing them 50'000 SEK. Well if i reduce it as much as possible fast then the faster i can study for Game designing. Though there is still a long way there. And i hope the book is finished by then. And i know someone who'll think i'll just waste time away if i do this. Well i'm sorry to say this but i need money to survive and that comes before studying. I might loose some time on it. But during that time i'm not dependet on others or my results but instead on what i'm good at. Cause i'm not good at studying, but i have always been one who have been good at learning from experince instead of from the theory. And i feel right now that i need that experience to take the next step instead of getting all the theory behind it.

Though today i guess i have been single for about 2 weeks you can say. And i can tell you all it feels horrible. Though it is my fault that i got into the situation of being single. Wish i didnt say what i said to her. But it seems she was able to move on. And i'm happy for her, but i have the trouble moving on myself. There isnt a single day so far i havent thought about what i did and how i can fix it. But at the end of all the thinking i always come up with that she will be happier without me, cause all i do is hurt her and that is why it became this way in the first place. Though i can only say i'm sorry for everything i have done at this moment though i know there is nothing i can return to. So all i wanna do now is just make sure that she is safe and happy. And hopefully there will come a day when she'll find someone she'll go crazy over and that the person she likes can answer those feelings without hurting her. Even though she says she doesnt believe in long lasting love i know she'll find it someday with someone who really will take care of her. Even though it hurts me to say all that and really want her for my own, i really wish for her happiness above my own.

Though as a request to someone out there. Help me move on cause this is killing me. I might be troublesome but maybe you can succeed with helping me move on. Though i prefer someone i can meet rather than someone who's on the other side of the world right now. I can tell you that its not easy when there is a distance and the only way to communicate is through a MSN conversation. So if you live in Sweden and near Jönköping, then just contact me. Dont care if
your not native swedish or that the only way you can communicate is in english. I talk english almost every day now so dont worry.
PS: Don't take the add too seriously i'm just crapping myself away. Though it would be nice to have someone to talk to about the whole thing.

Though just to add a few things to this all and that i find weird. Around the time i got together with her i trained alot of karate but shortly after we got together i lost some of the reason to continue with it. And now when it's over i all of the sudden i feel the need to start to train again. So now i am doing situps and arm heaves regulary and it started right after the breakup. I wonder what its about. This is just theory from a tired Kenny just so you know and can be all out wrong. Maybe i stopped before cause i felt that at that time i had someone i really cared about and that she didnt care about how i fit i was. And now when its over my body just switched over to some sort of single mode where it wants to come back to the fit game. I have already gotten myself 3 new kilos on 2 weeks. And that is freaking fast with the thinking i have been trying hard the last couple of years to gain weight. I guess just some training again would do it. Though back in the days of when i trained Karate i was around the same weight the whole time, even though i trained alot. Maybe now its cause i just make plain muscular training that i gain weight instead of before when i trained the whole of my body and was more into technique training and be able to use the power i had to use it as effectivly as possible. But thats just a theory.

Still playing around with the Irrlicht Engine. Right now i just want to create this floating castle and experiment with NPC and stuff like that. Though no mail about anyone intressted yet though i guess its gonna be like this for quite awhile. Hopefully things will start to move soon, just wished it was already started with production. Well i guess its like this when there is no money involved. Plus there isnt that many that keep track of my blogg. Though i know a few who does and they seem to visit quite alot. But most of the people i know isnt intressted in what i want to do. Well some are but not to the extent to be able to help me or i havent been able to talk to them about it.

Tomorrow i probably gonna work at my mothers antique shop. And i know already i wont like it. I never do. Usually just a bunch of old people comming there to buy things to support the shop and sometimes some other people to come around and look at things. And the place stinks. Though it only seems i'm the only one troubled with it. Everything just smells old and more than half the stuff there i hardly dare to touch. And i can tell you i have no problem with old people, just dont like the aura they give away from themself sometimes. And i'm no psycic or anything but they sometimes really give away a bad aura and you just feel down or depressed from them.

The book is getting delayed. Wrote on it a few days ago but when i started to check everything i noticed things were missing. Most of what i had written on the prologue and the first chapter was gone. I got really mad and really lost the will to write anything. Though i pained myself to rewrite most of what was missing. But i guess some new ideas for the comming chapters came up during that time so in a way i guess it was a good thing. I really need to finish the first book. But i have a feeling it will take quite awhile before it'll be finished. I dont have that much time to write anything. If it werent for all the studys i might have come way further with it. Well God give me strength to finish the first one so i can continue with the rest of the story. There is so much to write and i feel if i just finish the first one the rest will come. Though everything is already here but stuck in my head and have been there for years. Dont fully remember when it all started i remember the first works of it came when i was on my skiiing trip to Idre. I drew a image of a shield with the Phoenix feather crest on it. And it was the first drewing i really felt that it was well made. After that my fantasy have been working like crazy but i never wrote it down. Instead i read alot i remembered.

I read books like Harry potter, Wheel of time and Sword of Truth. And i can tell you all that the wheel of time series is like 22 books in swedish and the Sword of truth is 16 books in swedish at this moment. And more to come for Sword of truth. Actually As you might have seen i got a new link on my link list. Legend of the Seeker is actually the new series of the books of Sword of truth. And i'm eagerly waiting for it to release. Though the first season will only handle the first english book. And that is like the 2 first books in swedish. How they are gonna pull that off i have no idea with the thinking the first season is like 22 episodes that is like 40 min each without advertisements. Well hopefully it'll go well though i can already say that the books is gonna be better than the series. But they wont miss out as much as they do when they make movies out of books. Cause now they have 22x40mins for the first book. *Spoiler Warning* To read just mark the space that is missing.
Though something i really will enjoy later is when Kahlan will ride nude and pale on a horse to scare a whole army and then make them surrender before her. And i probably will get the chills when Richard is gonna learn to handle his powers.

I guess i just have to stop here before i write too much. Became quite alot and i hope you survived reading it all. Well its getting late now and i need to sleep. Well i guess i'll see you all some other day. And dont forget to leave a message after reading this. Cause that'll make me happy. And i'm okey with critizism also though not about spelling cause i already know that i need to fix that. Have a good day or night.