Though of doing a little blogging now when i'm sitting down and waiting for my laptop to be upgraded to the latest version of Fedora. Well i guess thats all i'm gonna say about computers otherwise it'll be pretty boring. Though before i updated the computer though i saw Clannad the movie. And yea i know its a Anime and it doesnt follow the series fully. But heck i dont care i like the movie better either way! Dunno why i really like that movie. It gives me the chills at specific times. Its both a very happy movie and sad. And yea no action. So lovely without all that action scenes where people get killed but still stand and talk. Freaking annoying. Maybe have grown some love on non action movies. Or just that i grown tired of the action ones. Either way as i said before it gives me the chills and there aint many things that gives me the chills in this world. And i tell you two things i confess of getting the chills from is specific operas and Clannad the movie. Both things are exellent in their own ways. And i say when i say opera songs i mean songs like Fredrik Kempe's Vincero, Paul Potts and Luciano Pavarotti. Awfully good singers. Though they all have sang Nessun Droma and they all have their own versions. Badly enough only Paul Potts is active. Cause Pavarotti is dead since last year and Fredrik is now days performing at rare cases from what i have gotten information about. Well hopefully i'll get the chance to hear Paul potts one day. A must to see him when i go to UK. ;)
Enough of opera might be considered gay soon. Wouldnt be too good. Well atleast i know of my sexuality.
Dreamhack is just around the corner or actually just 1 day and 6 hours away. Though me and my friends as we usually do go in a little later so we dont need to be in any lines. This year we'll be six people going. New record! Though we have been 5 before. And this time its gonna be my 5th time there geeking around like a fool. Hopefully i'll survive it without scratches from "people". Last time i got lots of hugs of random people. Why? I have no idea. Not really famous or anything. But also last time was horrible due to two reasons we only were 3 people going and someone very dear to me was undergoing a major surgery. So i was really restless the whole time and worrying my butt of more than 50% of the time. Though happily everything went fine and i accidently sent an sms to the parent and spoiled a few things that she shouldnt had heard for that time. Well that was last year. I wonder what will happen this year. One thing for sure that have to be done is that i have to buy a new mouse. My current one is really annoying me at the moment cause it goes on and off the whole time. My beloved MX510! *sob, sob* and i dont wanna upgrade to a MX518. I love my MX510. I have had it since my first dreamhack. And my god i just noticed its over 5 years old. That makes it even more sad. :'( Well one day it will die though till then keep on living my MX510.
Enough of my sad moment now. Time for some cheering up i guess.


Fun for the whole family

Well its getting late now and i need my beauty sleep. And everyone who have seen my face knows that i need beauty sleep. :P

Another nightpost. Well this time its not about me being grumpy something like that. Instead something is wrong a little lower down on me and as you may have guessed its my kidneys that is shitting me. Or actually i believe i might have kidney stones. And i tell you if there is anything i'm afraid of, then its kidney stones. At the moment i'm laying down in my bed with my laptop on my stomach. And i tell you its the only way at the moment i'm not in pain. As soon as i raise a little something just above my urinery bladder goes haywire. Started around 10 somehow and its keeping me awake cause i'm afraid of having a kidney stone attack. For those who wonder what so special about it then i tell you it can be compared with child labor and its known to be the most painful experience a man can have physically. The dumb thing is that there is a risk that i got it from my father where there is a 25% i could have inheritaded it from him cause i remember him telling me he got one many years ago. So now i hope its not really hitiing me. I wonder what i'll do tomorrow if this continues though. Have to call my mother to confirm that it happened so i know if there is any risk of it. Already have had some problems like a slight nausea and felt like throwing up though its mostly air. Its weird though, i have had similar problems like this before but always thought of it as normal. But now i suddenly am paranoid about something that i have experienced a few times already. But then not fully like this. And i cant really go to the hospital either cause then it will probably be gone before they can check it. What should i do? :/

Dunno whats really with myself sometimes. Lately or actually for quite some time i have had the urge to always have people around me and make notice of me without having myself to show myself off. If i dont get that social attention i somehow get deppressed somehow. Not sure where i got it from but i guess on being an outcast for many years have made its mark on me. Even now i feel still feel like an outcast. Though mostly now its cause i woke up at 12pm and noticed my housemates was gone. I guess they went to some party not sure though. Either way due to that i felt really depressed and left out even though it was really my fault for falling asleep early. Dumbshit me! So just to cheer me up in some way i went online on MSN and looked if someone wanted to talk with me. But nope no one was up to it. Felt angry cause no one wanted to talk with me. Why am i so dependet on people?! :(
Next try is a shameful one really and i do confess. I went on 4chan.org . For those who doesnt know what 4chan is then i'll tell you its a picture forum where you can upload any kind of photo and that includes even pornographic pictures. And i warn you dont visit the random area or that people call /b/ cause already (havent been on that site for a long time) i have seen pictures that are illegal anywhere in the world. Either way i went there to check if there was anything to make me feel a little better but there was none. Was even on /s/ and it only made me wonder why there is so many of pictures of girls naked online. And i mean just go to /s/ and you will maybe find even the girl next door or something (not that it has happened). Either way it didnt really help.
Though i guess its that i have people to talk with during the day i can keep myself sane each day. I thank you all for it. And those who have helped me through the last months i'm extra grateful towards. Dont think i wouldnt be standing without the help i got. As much as the last months have strengthen me it have also opened me for something else and i hope it will be good cause i really dont wanna bring people down in the future due to my miserableness.

Good night. I hope it was readable. ;)

Hmm something is wrong with my Graphics card i shouldnt have more than 512MB. :S

Now it was quite awhile since I made a real post. Though lately much hasn't happened due to i have been waiting for a teacher to read two reports that I have written. Well he read them and then gave me the points I have been asking for awhile. Though this all have been troubling for me cause I haven't been able to sleep due to being afraid that he'll never do it. Well now he did and now I'm really tired somehow. But enough of that.
Came across something special today after being on Youtube. I found a video of Jonny Jakobsen. Though i guess most of you people don't know who that is though his artist name was long ago Dr. Bombay, Dr. McDoo and Carlito. Some might recognise the names but either way. Checked a few good old music videos of him when I suddenly noticed something. Every music video was recorded in Malaysia. And I tell you the video doesn't say it directly but you can see it on a few details in the videos. Fun thing is that he's Swedish and I have met him so I know. So why do them all in Malaysia? Will show the videos at the end of the post and we'll see if you can find the details that sign that its in Malaysia. :P
Somehow that gives me ideas. Lately my world have been circulating around Malaysia a lot and the more times goes things drags me there more and more. A friend of mine actually said that I have my fate there or something. Though either way I'm going to UK first then we'll see where I happen to be located after that. What do you all think? Am I destined to go there again or something? Is there something that will drag me there? And what is that then? Maybe due to the financial crisis i will go there later cause the chance of getting job there will probably be higher than it will be here. Though again the chance of getting a job there is already easier. Sweden is going up to soon 10% of unemployment. A real crisis i must say. And due to that a student here cant really get a job cause there ain't any jobs or there is 10'000 other people applying for the same job. Or atleast not in this town where most companies rely on the bigger companies like Volvo, Saab, Ericsson, Nokia, Opel and many others that is at the moment throwing people out so they can earn more. And that really leads to that the smaller companies have to throw out people also cause the companies wants the smaller companies to sell their products and services for less. Well in the end the bigger ones will most probably kill themself. Then new ones can emerge. And how it looks now the asians will take over the former western empire. Or actually they are already most of the semiconductor companies and hitech companies are Asian based. :P

And here comes the vids. ;)

* Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.

* The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.

* Spooning some random dude.

* In a bath tub covered in blood.

* The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.

* The back seat of a stranger’s car.

* In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.

* On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.

* Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.

* Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.

* The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.

* Your parents’ kitchen floor.

* Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.

* The front lawn of the local synagogue.

* Cleveland.

* Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.

* The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.

* The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.

* The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.

* On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.

What a great start of the week.Morning started off with me waking up at 5. Yea thats right 05:00 in the morning. And the thing is i fell asleep about 2 o'clock. Darn damnation bad of me. Went down to mothers kitchen and ate breakfast and then packed the last stuff before going. Though my little sister (Not you amelia) was late and had to come with me and my mother. We got like 10 mins late. And i'm such a person as i have to be at a place like 10 mins before hand to feel that things are going right otherwise i get nervous about missing the train. Then me mom drove us away. And as lucky as i was when i got to the station the train just came. But there was one problem. It was on the wrong side of the tracks. Owh noo the first thought i had i'm gonna miss it. The problem is with it being on the other side of the rail is that i have to run 200meter extra. And i tell you i dont recomend that you run with luggage and havent had enough sleep. Though i was lucky they noticed i was running from the otherside so the train waited for me. I got on and now the worst parts starts. I felt really sick. The rest oif the trip back up to Jönköping i felt like puking the whole time.
Got to Jönköping and when i got off the train i sort of felt better. Went down to school and met up with Johan and Jakob. I can tell Johan was really in a good mood today he was laughing at anything and he was acting like a i child most of the day. Though so did me an jakob to certain extent. ;)
Though due to to my lack of sleep i felt quite bad the whole day. But then again i was mostly reading. Though when it was time for lunch i had to go get it for myself. Walked out and it was raining a little. Well atleast for that moment. As soon as i had walked through the school of learning and communication it started to rain even more and as i was at the pharmacy it went over and became a rainstorm. And as i ordered my meal it started to hail And the storm blew the water from the street right into the shops corner so the whole kitchen got wet. Though i was lucky and just got my food. Though when i got it i ran as fast as i could back to school so it wouldnt get worse. And i tell you i almost flew on the way back due to strong winds. :S
As i walked into the school i heard a girl saying Oh my god how wet he is. Then i noticed the whole of me was really drenched. Well not much i could do about it at that perticular moment more than walk back to Jacob and Johan. And after i left the food i went and dried my hair on the toilet.
Around 3 i went back home to my old apartment. And i napped. Owh how good that felt. Heaven on earth really. After a short nap of like 2 hours or so i went back and sat down with the computer and tried to install Crysis on it. Though that didnt succed so well. Something wrong with the computer so i couldnt install it. But then i installed it on my laptop instead and it worked without problem. Just that i then have to trnsfer over 6GB of data twice. :/
Well i guess thats were my bad luck ends. Though after some chatting with the house mates i hear about that Paul had invited a girl over tomorrow on a movie night and Hamza was like crazy about it cause he wanted it to be romantic and everything. Though it was hilarious. The two of them going crazy over just one girl comming over. My god they are like children in a candy store sometimes. Though we will see how a polish guy and a german girl works out. ;)

And thank you all who have been talking with me today you all have helped me with not thinking about wanting to puke. ^^

Ands as a end to this i show you all this weird music vid i found. Though i wonder why Peter Stormare is in it though. :/

Second post today and a late one as usuall. ;)
Finally i finished cleaning up one of the continents. And as you can see its called Nasdir. And this continent is where things will start off at. Though right now there is three continents but only this one is finished for cleaning. Will probably finish the others later. Though i will show off a little how things looked like before i photoshoped the map. ^^

Its sunday and i'm watching Singing Bee on TV3. Not often i watch tv i tell you. Was away and visted my grandmother yesterday actually. Well i went cause its a little tradition to have the birthday party with the relatives or atleast on my fathers side. This time was a little diffrent. My biological grandfather was there. It was like 2 years since i last saw him. And it was when we put my father to the sea outside of Helsingborg. When i saw him i so saw my fathers face in his stead. Directly i got like a stone in my throat. Horrible but played on looking "cool". Alot of mischef with my small cousins and a few hours alter we went back. The day wasnt that great really. Though i guess the day wasnt so good due to two reasons. First of i was quite worried about a person. I knew i shouldnt have been as worried as i was. All cause i didnt fully know what was going on the other side of the world. Feels like i'm getting dependent on always knowing what's going in other peoples life. But today i atleast heard why things ended up as it did. And i can say i really felt relief. Worst thing was that i dreamt about that same person and it was almost like a nightmare. I guess most people would had seen it as a nightmare but i can say i didnt really got scared by it. Maybe it was a sign that i care about the person more than i realise.
Second reason is cause i saw a few pictures of Ashikin in 3 diffrent dresses. I have no idea but when i saw her in those dresses i felt really bad. Even though i have nothing to do with her anymore. Probably i'm still in one of the phases of breakup i guess. Though its weird. I have found someone that makes me feel good again. And i mean really good, but as soon as i see a new picture of Ashikin i suddenly feel sad till i am able to talk with the other one. I am a really messed up person aint i? Hopefully i will calm down. Or maybe that is how i am gonna live my life as a rollercoaster. Though how do i become a more calm person?

And here comes a vid. ;)

It have been like a week since my last post. If you exclude that Quiz thing. As some of you all know I'm back at my moms place and have been here since friday. My rollercoaster have finaly started to calm down or atleast stay high up instead of being down so often. Maybe its cause i have gotten a new light in my life or something.
("Think Geek")Besides that i now know a couple who will have a real rollercoaster trip ahead of them. That is Lilah an Ethan who just got married today in Jamaica. So i wish them all the best of luck and happy honeymoon. I have known the two of you for 3 years already and i know things will go well between with eachother besides that Ethan might blow up the house if your unlucky and dont catch him in the right time. ;)
Viv went away today to meet relatives who lives a distance away from Taiping. She wont be back until 13th of november. So now i have no night time buddy to talk with. Anyone who wanna temponairly replace her or act like her? She'll hopefully get connection somewhere or it depends on if she goes to China or not during that time. Well we'll see.
My birthday is tomorrow. I so hope i wont get so many presents. Never really liked getting presents from people. Makes me feel bad when i get them and havent gotten the other person presents. Make me feel like i'm egoist. And worse its gonna be on the 8th cuase then i'll be down to my grandmother and recive quite a few of them. Well i guess i have to live with it for the time being.
The game is put on hold at the moment. Instead i will work on a project called Operation Galahad when i get back. And its a single player series for Crysis. Hopefully it will be finished by the time Dreamhack starts so my friends can test it before its delivered to rest of the people on CryMod. This will hopefully help me advance in level design a little.

And now for the big tag Viv is making me doing

Random post though i will update more later.

Quiz from

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

The seriousness of your love:

Your views on education

The right job for you:

How do you view success:

What are you most afraid of:

Who is your true self: