Was awhile since the last post. Not much happening really. Though things will probably remain in silence for awhile after this day. Well its cause I'm going away tomorrow to see my grandparents and relatives on my mothers side. They only live 10 hours away with train. And that just what I'm going to ride. Train all the way from Jönköping to Ånge that is in the middle of the country. Though I tell you even if i say in the middle of the country it doesn't mean there are many cities or such. Just that it is half across the country. Will be going with my sister so she is coming tomorrow. Though i need to clean up my place a little. ^^
Though its not just my place that needs cleaning up here, its the kitchen also cause it looks horrible. As good as it is its not my time to clean the kitchen. ^^ Actually the place looks almost like we have had a rave party and everyone is like if they were wasted. And i tell you all we didn't do anything special yesterday. Besides there was poker tournament downstairs and a goodbye dinner for the exchange students at some other place. ^^
How this happened don't ask me cause i have no idea. ^^
Beside that i guess i have finally started to understand my roller-coaster ride as some call it. It basically is about something that people here sometimes call damp though its not really the same thing and is a misunderstanding. Though as many of the people i have grown up with i sometimes go berserk when people are irritating, annoying or being cruel against me. It all is about really about built up anger that have is filling up eachtime i feel hurt or sad. I dont know how many times i have gone berserk due to it in elementary school. Though things changed in 9th grade. That change was the martial arts. During the years i had trained it i never really got angry at anyone really. Never touched someone beside when Robert asked me to punch him in school to see how hard i can punch. Well i can say it worked for 3 years really and everyone saw me at the dojo as a really nice guy. Same was it in upper secondary school. Someone who never got really angry at anything nor even killed a fly. A plain nice guy i guess. But then a day came when my world was really turned upside down. And it was cause of my fathers death. I started to train less and do nothing more often. I closed myself again and i wasnt as outgoing as i used to be but still i have always been shy. And as many other people recently have noticed i have been going really up and down at times. I guess its all from the lack of putting anger and annoyence on something. I guess i need some martial arts training again. Though i wonder if i should go back to Karate or if i should start with something new. Though i cant start anything until i have moved i guess. Anyone who can recomend anything? :P

Sunday and today i have been a good boy. I have cleaned my room. Much cleaner now. ^^
Havent cleaned in awhile actually. I wont say how long ago it was cause then i probably get whipped by someone. Who i dont know but most probably by someone of the opposite gender. Pictures of my cleaned room will be further down.

Though about the other gender in general. Dunno what it is lately but people whom i socialize with seem to want me to hook up with other girls. Have happened twice already on 2 days. Yesterday my housemates started talking about it at the dinner table and the mentioned four people where two names doesnt sound good at all and one i have heard of but never meet even though she lives next door and the fourth one is a lesbian. The names of the two girls or should i say nicknames really is Gorilla and Chimpanse. And i say it doesnt bode well if you ask me. The girl next door i know who she is and what her name is though its told she hardly speaks. Guess its some shy girl. And as i said before the fourth girl is a lesbian. I mean come on? I dont really wanna be together with a lesbian and secondly even though i'm single i'm not really looking either at the moment. Want things to calm down before i even try with someone else. And now the second time was today. Talked with a friend of mine and we got into the talk about me being shy and all. Though she doesnt really believe it cause i was able to talk with a friend of hers without any real problem. Well i just said she was one who easily opened up to talk. Then she told me she actually was a very shy girl. Though from what i noticed she didnt really seemed like that kind. And then she said it. My friend said we might have actually clicked. And then she started to make plans. Well we'll see if that friend of mine really will do as she said. Though if she will try to make us together or something i have no idea what to do. What is it with people and trying to hook me up with other people? They try to ensure i get laid or how you say it? Though worse is probably when i meet my grandparents(mothers side) next time they'll probably ask me to see some girl they know up there. Cause last time they were asking when i would bring up their great grandkids. I mean hello i'm only newly turned 20 the youngest family i know of had their kid at the age of 23. And not to be critisising against him but for me that feels alittle too young. But thats just me i guess.

Well have a great night and enjoy pictures of my room. ^^

So now its like 3 months since i lost my thumb. It have healed quite well actually. Will show you how it looks now. I'm sorry to have kept it all secret for you all before. Dunno why i really did but i felt like i needed to do this on my own. I know this will come as a shock to many of you. But i'm still the same old Kenny you all have known. I'm just one thumb less. The rehab training have been quite easy though cause it was my left thumb so it wasnt as much hard work as if it was my right one. The rehab people was really nice. The nurse who had me was newly graduated from my school and was just a few years older. I tell you she was quite good looking. Its too bad she was taken but we'll see with my luck. Though i'll see her again tomorrow. ^^
Btw a pic of my lefty hand and my confession.




Fake BTW and a big fat lie. I know its not 1st april but i wanna put it up now. :P

Friday today and me very very tired. Think i will go to bed after posting this. Quite early for me actually. Though i have been most of the time in school today and then when i got home i had to make dinner. And now i'm really exhausted and sleepy. Wish there were more energy in me. And it was a pretty sadening day today. Havent been able talk long with anyone really today. Espcially some people. Even though i have had two friends around me today i felt a little lonesome. Maybe its cause of lack of socializing or something else. Darn i'm too dependent on other people maybe. Feels like sometimes i cant do anything until i have had a daily dose of something. Pretty annoying really.
And now i got brain dead. Guess the bed is calling. Good night!

Didedeluuu. Another post. I have nothing really on my mind to blog about really. Just felt to make a post. Though for you who have been thinking the whole thing about men are like purses and girls are like diamonds. I'm sorry people you are really stereotypical. Saying all that stuff doesnt mean that everyone is like that. If it were so then my my the world is lacking of unique people. And i can assure you all that i have meet quite a few unique people both bad and good ones that doesnt really fit into that bullshit. Sorry for my choice of words. And yea i know i had my finger into a little though it was mostly as a joke. Dunno really why i write about it but i guess its cause i'm tired. Well beside of that i dunno what happened to me like a few mins ago but i got like a sudden flashback of the day when i was about to leave to go to malaysia. I wonder what happened. It wasnt like i fell down on the floor or anything but it went through my head like really fast. Every conversation and everything i saw. Hmm maybe my brain wants to sleep or something.

Though the other morning i had a strange dream that was first half very dream like and second half was much more real. I remember that i somehow was in a some old egyptian style catacomb. And i entered a big room and as i got into the room i saw there was like a whole in it and qwhen i looked down into it i saw some sort of grave for several people. But not like a mass grave but instead like it was went for several people. The i was surounded by several others. Dunno who they were but they knew me. Some people went down to the graves to check out the graves. Suddenly something happened. The people who had gone done started to sink down into the ground and arms were dragging them down. All of the sudden the catacomb was filled with dead people that was trying to attack me and the others. One got to me, but i recognised the face. It was someone i knew. I started to talk to the person and it reacted and started talking back and it seems i somehow got it to ehlp me out and show it that it could live a free life. All of the sudden everything went dark. And then i saw that light were everywhere and it was comming from all kinds of directions. I looked around and i noticed that the person was with me but looked much more like a person than a dead corpse. But also i noticed that i was on Dreamhack somehow. Also i knew exactly where my seats were so i took the person to the place. On the way i talk with a old friend of mine namned Markus Kothe. His girlfriend was with him and suddenly the person grabbed Kothe's girlfriend like it was gonna attack her. I told her to stop and it wasnt something that person should do. The girl just laughed over it and so did the rest of us. We then splited ways and me and the person went to my seat. As i sat down i noticed that it was in the B building on dreamhack. Pretty weird though cause i have never sat there and havent really had plans to sit there either. The person was somehow very fond of me and was very clingy on me and i didnt really minded. Shortly after that i woke up. Weird dreams huh? Well now things stopped in my head to write about well i guess i should head to bed then.

Goodnight everyone and have great dreams or great days. ;) I sure will try to have good dreams.

Was awhile since my last post. Or actually a real post. The last one was really a random post from a random burst of emotions i guess. Mysterious stuff really. I hardly know why it happen sometimes. Either way this weekend i was away to my grandmother to be on Cecilia's birthday party. Actually she turned 18 so she really wanted me and my sis to be there and i couldnt really let her down. Went down to Helsingborg with the buss this time. 3hours and 30 mins of sitting on a boring buss. Though for 2h and 20 mins i sat and talked with my sis nonstop really. She came onto the buss later due to we live in diffrent towns. Dont think the passangers really liked that we talked the whole way down. Though they didnt say anything. Other that day much didnt really happen more than i wasnt able to talk with Viv before i went. Well well it happens. Though the next day (Saturday) i woke up early but then i slept very late the night before around 3 or 4 really. Some stuff going through my head and not really feeling tired. Well shit happens as they say. Though during the morning i cleaned and was online a little before the party. Was a nice party though i was mostly playing around with the kids as usual. Hmm even on my birthdays i was playing mostly around with my small cousins. Night passed by in a swift and the day after we had to travel back me and my sis. Though we visited my aunt and my small cosuins for a few hours before going. Alma was playing around with my hair and such. Though after being there for a bit we went back to grandma and ate a little before going with the buss back. Just before we ate i got something confirmed my father had kidney stones twice. So i guess i should be put on the list of a risk factor. 25% not good.
Going back wasnt really that pleasant. First of i got a headache when we went on. Later i got a stomach ache also. So i took up my laptop and watched 'The IT Crowd' just to make me think of other stuff. Hilarious episode though during it i got an acute need to pee and it was like in an instant i had been filled. As good as we have it here in Sweden the busses have a toilet on them. Went in and what did i notice? No light. Hmm fun. Well with a few tricks i managed to use the toilet with the light that should had worked. Went back and then watched. After arriving back in Jönköping and went to the next local buss i needed to take to get back at my apartment i noticed that it had just gone and the next one wouldnt come until in 45 mins. Still stomach and head was aching so i got pretty pissed really. After some thoughts for like half a second i came to the conclusion that i could just walk home. Its just 6-7km on foot in -3C and so i did. And for those who wondred why i did it. Well i can tell you that it takles me about 30 mins to walk that distance so i would be home before the next buss came. Clock was about 9 when i was back home. After some chit chatting with the others i went into my room and sat down at the computer to check mail and such. Took a pill just so iw ould get rid of that headache. 15 mins later Viv got on. Finally someone to cheer me up from this bad evening. And so she did. Though it was surprising that she even was online that late. Well well no matter, something good came out of my day atleast so i didnt go asleep grumpy.
Gonna stop here i guess. Not anything intressting more than i updated W kayz link to his new blogg. Noticed today he had signed up as follower of my blogg. Thank you Wei. How i'm gonna follow yours i dunno though.

Just felt like doing a random post one of my favorite song

Goldfinger - I Want
Lyrics can be found under the vid

Don't want to spend my time, wishing you were here
Don't want to spend my time alone
Don't want to waste my life, dwelling on the past
Don't want to lock myself at home

'Cause I want, I need, nothing less than you
I want nothing else at all

Don't want to make excuses
Explaining it away
Just want to spend my time with you

Don't want to walk on ice
Don't want to live on edge
'Cause on the edge
I'm looking down

I want more, I want more

Don't want to spend my time
Wishing you were here
Don't want to spend my time alone

Time flies by sometimes but not as often as i want to. Sorry Amelia for the late update but the time flew away cause i was tired yesterday. Tonight though i will be up long. Need to reinstall my computer. This time i will try Windows Vista x64. Hopefully it will be more stable than the normal version. But before i can install the new version i have to download it and thats why im writing now cause i have loads of time.
Dreamhack ended yesterday and i'm sorry to say it wasnt as good as it used to be. My friends thought it was great but i cant say the same. During the event i got myself a new hard drive though. So now i have loads of space on my computer for once. Though the only problem is that my computer is crapping me. :/
During the event something weird started to stir inside of me though. Started to feel angry over something but i dont know what it was. When i lost in a game or something just didnt go my way i got angry. Havent had such anger issues before. I even got irritated at people for nothing at all. Still only one person calmed me down. Dunno how that person did it, but it worked. Something is really wrong with me lately. And that person seems to be the only one making me relaxed and calm. Maybe it is as someone said. Maybe it is cause i want some kind of closure as a friend of mine said. But then again i have moved on without closure before why not now? The mind is truely a force to recon with. It can really mess you up good and you cant do anything to stop it. But aslo lately i have not only felt angry i have felt alone also. Even while i was on dreamhack. I had like 10'000 people that was like me and i could talk with anyone about anything. But still i felt that i was alone. It was freaking horrible. Anyone knows what is happening to me though? Any cure someone can give me?

Have more on my mind but dont really feel like writing it all at the moment. Just plainly tired and feel angry at my computer for crapping. Wish things were easier.