Sorry no special Valentines post yesterday. Cant say i celebrated it. Never had a partner during valentines day. Either way today my laptop crashed so i had to reinstall it. Luckily as i am a good computer guy i made a backup of everything and now have a clean computer. Hopefully it'll last longer this time. Band practise gets cancelled. Me being in school makes things hard to have a band. Wish it was just 8 to 15 like it was back in Upper secondary. But Uni. My god, class can end at 20:45 sometimes. No time for anything else.

The stalkers i think have gotten a new person to stalk it seems. Don't know if they have read my blogg or something but they seem to keep a little more distance this time. Maybe they are just hunting some random people. Well i dont know. Hardly care either way.

To end this i report that i think i'm getting a minor cold and i think i'll give you all a rather small taste of something i have been working on just to fill out space.

The smell of burning wood was around around him. With it was a smell of something else. Something awful. He didn't know what it was. The smell got stronger and his eyes started to see something in front of him. There was liquid dropping onto his stomach. It neither warm nor cold. He felt as the liquid crawled down his stomach. As his vision started to come back the sight of red was the major color he saw in front of him. He heard something like heavy breathing but it wasn't like a normal human. It was more like a beast's. The dripping was now more of a pouring. He raised his head an inch just so he could see his stomach. It was red.

Well now everyone, I have applied for for schools in UK. And due to rules in UK ou can only apply for 5 courses but i have only applied for 4. And for those who are wondering what i applied for its

• Game development with Mathematics (Joint hours) - Kingston
  
• Game development - Kingston
• Mathematics And Computer Science - University of Bristol
• Game development (Story Development) - University of East London

I know that the deadline was 15th of January. And honestly i found out today about it. So i missed the deadline. Well hopefully i'll have as much luck as when i got into JTH (Thank you who told me that they used same system as here in sweden).

Besides that i saw Rawride the other day and i promise you all they are great. They played on a charity for Médecins Sans Frontières (Or more known as Doctors Without Borders). Well there was a few other bands playing also like Stormhold, Solitude and Screw You. Yes there is a band called that in the area. After the show we went back to Faust place and played some games and had fun. Got a little crazy after awhile but it was fun.

And to end this. Dont watch the unrated version of Sex Drive. I thought it contained just a little more nudity than the rated version. But i warn you all its a freaking porn movie.

Have a great day.

Morning everyone, before starting to write anything i just wanna say sorry to all the people that had to go through my bad mood yesterday. Though here comes a small announcement. My blogg will change theme in a short while. So hopefully it will be added withouth much trouble. Longer post later for you all. ^^

Things are so wrong with me at the moment. Its probably cause I'm tired and all, but i am worrying and my emotions are going nuts at this particular moment. Those of you all who know me the best knows that i have been trying to change and make a new life for myself. That is actually something i always wanted since i was a kid. Now when things have starting rolling on that way of change something in me really tells me to stop and go back. I still feel that i want my life to change but something in me tells me that life still belongs to the very place i have been raised at. All this struggling with creating the new me and soon maybe a possible spot in London. And what happens? My freaking whole body tells me not to do it. Why not just tell me that i should return later after maybe spending some time at a other place? Why? This feeling have been here most of the day. Its pretty annoying really. What makes it worse is when i see something i can connect with my old life. Like this morning i was on a friends Picture Diary and checked out her new pics. The thing was that she had uploaded pics of her and a friend of hers and mine also. A friend i honestly have had feelings for before for a long time. Even though it have been flickering over the years and was vanished now for a few. But when i saw the pic and something told me that if i go i'll lose most people as my friends. Its very weird. Is it just second thoughts? Or was there a plan for me in the beginning? I am quite confused at this moment.

Be blessed as a friend of mine usually tell me.

This post is gonna be a little continuation of the last post. And its about the stalker. Well whis post isnt gonna be about her. Instead something peticular happened me the days after i wrote the post. Seems its not just her but i noticed now that there is two more asians. Though these ones had a little more courage. And now i'm gonna tell how i noticed. The other day i went home with my friend Jacob. We jumped on the buss down to Råslätt as we always do but at the time we jumped on the buss was totally filled. After marking the card we went down to the middle of the buss cause there was quite lacking of seats. On our way down to the middle of the buss there was these two asian girls standing up havent seen them before and they had already noticed me somehow. And all of the sudden both of them give me that stereotypical shy japanese school girl hi. I looked at them and said hi back. Jacob who was with me they didnt even say anything to. After that me and jacob stood a little further down. Then after one stop they came down and almost stood beside me. Then i started to wonder what in the world was going on. Every time i looked at them they looked away. And it kept going on like that for like 20 mins and we got down to råslätt. Though me and jacob jumped off a little early though cause we went to the grocery store. When we got to the grocery store we saw the the girls come up. and they also went into the store. And there it really felt like they were trailing me. I and Jacob met Arvid at store also. We stopped at a place started talking. The girls then went to a place not far away and started talking for them self. And yes i could hear them. I dont know if i'm paranoid but something is wrong with this all. Is there going around some rumor about me or something? Its not some game someone is playing on me is it? Well if it is, its not funny. Thats all for now. Have fun! ^^

Long time no see. No real post for awhile, even getting some complains. Didn't know i was that fun to read about. Even though that people seem to have found interest in reading my blog I have found out that someone have found an interest in me. I dont know if the person is trying to mock me or is just plainly shy. But honestly, stalking me cant be that fun can it? I'm not that intressting really. I even hardly have a life at this moment nor do i have looks for that matter, specially now when i need a shave also. Though for those who wonder who this person is i will now tell you some info on this perticular girl and what have been happening the last week. Well firstly i can say the girl is asian (Hmm somehow me cant get enough of the asians). She lives 3 floors down. I have no idea what her name is and she started stalking me like last week. Or atleast thats when i started to notice her. Dont think i have seen her before so i guess she is one of the new exchange students. And i honestly say she isnt very discrete with it either. Well atleast she wasnt today. It was quite obvious today when i missed the buss i saw her on the buss as it went past me and as it went up onto the next checkpoint or whatever its called. After like 5 mins she stood beside me in the crowd with the other people who was taking the next buss. And by the way i dont think all asians look the same. None does really. well either way. After riding the buss and jumping off at the same place i went the other way to get some lunch. Guess who follows after me. She followed me to the resturant she even ordered the same thing. Then she followed me with distance back to the school. Just so everyone knows, i do have a tendancy to look behind my back quite alot when i somehow knows that someone is walking behind me or have followed me for awhile. She followed me all the way to the school and into but took a diffrent turn at a specific place so atleast from what i believe she wouldnt be as noticeable cause of that she would walk with me besidely till and see me when the corridors emerged. And as i was a little lazy that morning i even took the elevator. As good thing was she didnt follow me into the elevator. The funny thing is that i know that she doesnt belong to the engineering school. Even so she followed me. If she had been a little smarter she would had just been a little smarter and not making me paranoid she should had just walked into the Business school instead. Then maybe i wouldnt had written about her. Well hopefully she'll either start talking with me or stop stalking cause at this moment i dont know if i should consider her scary or just plainly weird. And those who wants more info about how i noticed her have to ask me otherwise this post will be longer than the dawn.

Well time to jump over to the next topic. Seems someone was able to find out info who the next guy who will live here. That person will take over Nathaniels room. And as it seems the one replacing the Aussie/Malaysian/Chinese is a Thaiboy. And its not any guy as it seems. Actually its not entirely sure if the guy is a guy. Due to the fact he/it acts like a girl most of the time. And how i know that without even meeting him is cause the guy is actually someone who have actually been living in a diffrent part of the town for over a half year and is taking his diploma here. That means he/it will be staying with Hamza for atleast 1½ years and as it looks like Hamza doesnt like this guy. But hopefully he'll survive after i leave him here after finishing my diploma. Cause after i leave Vivien will also leave. That means Hamza is gonna be horrified when we move out cause if he's unlucky he'll get his worst nightmare and that is the african people. Well i have nothing really against them but Hamza seems to really have a problem if its gonna be an african.

Well now i'm gonna sleep. Tomorrow i have school again. And hopefully i'll survive all the practise. I hope this post wasnt too long though. And your welcome to leave a comment in my chatbox. Good night everyone and Sweet dreams. I know I will have ones. ;)

Angels & Airwaves - The adventure

I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are open up with pure sunlight
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that is dead shall be re-grown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign
You will be fine

Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin

Any type of love it will be showed
Like every single tree reach for the sky
If you're gonna fall
I'll let you know
That I will pick you up
Like you for I
I felt this thing
I can't replace
When everyone was working for this goal
Where all the children left without a trace
Only to come back as pure as gold
To recite this all

Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin

I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me

Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
Life's waiting to begin (do this with me)
Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
Life's waiting to begin
Life's waiting to begin 

Days passing by. And hardly any posts from me. I guess I'm slacking off a little here. Too much World of Warcraft lately probably. Darn that game, it really kills you from the outside. Though i have finally gotten a good character. Either way today I'm gonna take up a topic that when i was little had hardly any existence. But lately is something i see more and more often. The Euro-Asian families. When i was little and a growing child i lived in a town where most people somehow breeded with people similar to each other and with that i mean Swedish with Swedish, Vietnamese with Vietnamese, Bosnian with Bosnian and so on. But lately i have seen alot of couples who are Swedish+Thai. I mean a couple of years ago that was a pretty darn rare sight. Now i see it almost everyday. And don't go up north. Each and every guy there is together with an Asian there. Was so in shock when i was in Sundsvall to shop and all i saw was Swedish men with Asian wife's and kids. Started to wonder if it was some kind of trend or something up there. Though then again I'm as guilty as them. I was together with a Asian girl. And btw i am not against it really. Just that it feels weird for me seeing other euro-asian couples.
Though finally got my laptop to work again after the charger broke over a month ago. Finally i can sit in Fedora again. Though it was funny the day i got the charger. after getting the charger i went to school to study with some friends. While working and studying i was also updating my computer. And i tell you with Linux there is always new updates each month and it updates software that isn't just for the operating system but also for everything else also so you never need to worry about having old software. well either way. After being done with 200 updates or so, it was time for restarting the computer. And so i did. I shouldn't had, it was a mistake. It seems sometime during the updates it updated GRUB in some way so. And GRUB handles something that is called the Master Boot Record that handles what should be booted and how it should be done. Well somehow it now said there weren't any harddrive to boot from. Though that doesn't make really sense cause for GRUB to even start it needs a harddrive. Well later that night i fixed it with my "pro" Linux skills (Google). But now everything works. And now even Spotify works, that before said i didn't have a working sound card.
And now something i have hold in for quite awhile. Even though it have been around 4 months since it ended, the feelings is still there. And now the other day we finally had a real talk for the first time in a long time. And honestly it was really relieving that we finally talked. Though it started off bad, things finally was took up between the two of us. And honestly during that time i felt glad that she opened up and told me straight to me what was going on. Something i havent dared to do since things splitted up. And honestly all feelings are still there, just that they are hidden away to ensure no one gets hurt. Though still i have times when i am emotionally down. Some people have really have seen the worst sides of me during that time. Sides i didnt want anyone to see or experience. Though worst thing with just holding things in that when for example hugging a relative or a friend it just feels empty and i start to remember those hugs that could really make me explode. Wish i just could experience it once more. Cause honestly i couldnt get enough of it. I just wished things wouldnt be so complicated.
I dont know if some people will react to it but this is how it is partly inside. I wish i could be more true at this at this moment. Well i hope this will be a good post for you all.

First day back from school since the christmas holiday started. Started off the day with getting late (How great arent i? :P). Well it was just a project meeting and i wasnt the last one there either. Martin was like 2½ late while i was only 30 mins. After some working and talking for many hours it wa time for SLM or in a more normal sense; Service Level Management. And i tell you this will probably be one of the rougher classes i'll read. Though actually it will be my last one before the internships starts. Hopefully i will get the internship down where my mother lives. That way it'll be easier to save my money for UK. 2 months with just rent and no need to pay for food. Paradise! ^^ Though btw i have decided on something new. If i dont get a job before i go to UK (in UK that is) i will then try to get a bartender license there and be a bartender. Hopefully that will keep me alive there. And why people may wonder. Well if you wanna know you have to ask me. ;)
This became a small post. Maybe i'm losing my edge. Well c you all soon.

Late night as always. Dunno why i write during the night though but either way i do. Not talking much sense either for starters i guess. But then again i dont feel like being in a good mood either. Well many probably wondering how my trip was. I guess i could just call it fine. It was quite dull really. The same old thing. Nothing new really and me doing nothing at my grandparents place. And during new year i did some drinking. Yea i know i dont usually drink but this time i allowed myself though for the night it was fun but the day after. Shoot me. Well i didnt get wasted but i felt slow for two days. Nothing fun afterwards really. Came home on the second of january. And during the night i went and visited the emergency clinic in the middle of the night. Was there from 00.50 to 05.00 in the morning and had to walk home afterwards. Got sent there cause i had an allergic reaction to something. What, i have no idea. Though i got 300 bucks poorer. Dont feel like explaining much right now about what happened. Get so moody talking about it. But then again i guess its due to the medecation talking. Cause one of the things you can get from the medecation is temponairly mental unbalance. Risk factor is the same as less than 1 in 1000. Guess i got it either way. Though it reminds me i didnt tell some people that today (as of right now its past 00.00) i will rehearse with the band and will be gone for the day. I wished i said that already to some people but i just couldnt somehow. Well i hope that one person will survive while i'm gone. I just hope that the person dont do something that isnt that good. Well goodnight now. I hope you survived my word pooping and i am understanable. :/